Lest We Forget
by Trufreak89
Summary: Damon screws up, which is nothing new; but when Elena finds him in the middle of the road three days later he has no memory of her or anything after 1864. Is he playing her, or has something really happened to make him forget?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:**Lest We Forget

**Summary: **Damon screws up, which is nothing new; but when Elena finds him in the middle of the road three days later he has no memory of her or anything after 1864. Is he playing her, or something really happened to make him forget?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the characters or anything associated with the show.

**Rating: **M

**A/N:** So this is my first Vampire Diaries fic, though I've been writing for a while I just watched the first three seasons over the last couple of months and decided to try my hand at some Damon/Elena. The whole 1864 Damon has probably been done to death, but give it a try?

"Katherine?" Damon squinted as he struggled to his knees. His head was pounding and Katherine was glaring at him. He had no recollection of how he had ended up lying unconscious in the middle of the road, though he was willing to bet the dark haired vision standing in front of him had something to do with it. "What happened?"  
"I was about to ask you the same thing. Damn it Damon! Stefan's been looking all over for you! Where the hell have you been?" She glowered at him with her arms crossed and her brows furrowed.  
"Such language does not befit a lady, even one as exotic in nature as you are Katherine." He berated her as he pushed himself up on to his feet. She would probably make him pay for speaking out of turn at her, but right then and there he didn't care. The world around him lurched in and out of focus and he felt sick to his stomach. He wretched, but nothing came up. Everything felt _wrong. _

His entire body felt strange_. _Like his skin didn't fit properly anymore; like the hands cupping his face weren't his own. "Cute, Damon." Katherine glared at him as she nervously glanced up and down the road. That wasn't right either. Katherine never got nervous. There was nothing on the road or hidden in the depths of the surrounding forest that could take on the ruthless vampire. "Either cut the act or you can walk back to town!" She was shouting at him and he had no idea what she was talking about. Her behaviour was almost as strange as her appearance. She was dressed in what appeared to be pants of some sort and her hair was tied back. Damon had never seen her hair tied up like that. His own attire was strange too; he wore a leather coat of some sort over a silk shirt with a strange collar and similar pants to his lover. What the hell was going on?  
"Katherine, please-"  
"Jesus, Damon! Enough already! Just get in the damn car!"

"Car? What? Katherine!" The dark haired girl went to walk away from him and he darted forward to stop her. He moved far quicker than he had anticipated and in the blink of an eye he was in front of her, holding on to her arm. Her eyes widened and she panicked as she tried to push him away. Her shove didn't move him in the slightest and it was only as he released her arm himself that she took a hasty step back from him. "What did you do?" His eyes narrowed on her accusingly. Had she turned him without warning him? Hadn't they agreed to wait until the tension in the town died down a little? Until Emily could make him a daylight ring.  
"What did I do? Don't touch me Damon! I don't even know why I bothered to come looking for you-"  
"Katherine!" He tried to take hold of her again and she screamed as she shoved him away.  
"I'm not Katherine!"

He stood there, in the middle of the road, unsure of what was going on as the girl who looked like Katherine, yet said she wasn't, stared at him with big brown eyes that held far too much fear and apprehension to be his lover. Her eyes softened as she took in his plight, the way his eyes wildly scanned around him as he tried to take in what was happening to him. The trees of the forest were too sharply focused in the darkness and the sounds of the animals scurrying amongst them were like nails on a chalkboard to his overly sensitive ears. Everything was different. Everything was wrong.

"Damon?" Her voice was soft and coaxing as she took a small step towards him, like she was approaching a wounded animal. It was Damon's turn to take a step back in fear as he stared at the creature wearing Katherine's face. He could hear her heart beating against her chest, and it was loud! Every single beat was deafening! The fast thump, thump, thump of it made his mouth water and his eyes became fixed on her neck. The girl didn't miss the subtle change in his demeanour and she held her arms out in front of her as she took another step back. "Damon, listen to me. It's Elena…you know me. You don't want to do this…"

Oh but he did. His stomach was churning with hunger and something deep inside of him told him that the steady pulse throbbing at the girl's throat would satiate that hunger. So Katherine had turned him and for some reason the human girl warily backing away from him looked like Katherine. She could answer his many questions; but she was intending to flee. Everything about her told him that. "Elena…" The name sounded foreign on his lips and did nothing to soothe Elena's fears. In a split second she was running and in another he was giving chase. It reminded him of the endless times he and Stefan had chased Katherine through the rose garden on the Salvatore estate. Damon felt like he would always be chasing Katherine, like she would always be just out of his reach with his baby brother around. Elena was a different matter though. Elena was human, and even without his new found speed he could have caught her easily.

Except she dived in to what appeared to be a large metal box on wheels and Damon was forced to stop in front of it, stumped by how she had gained entry. He ran his hand along the edge of what appeared to be a break in the box, but could find no way to exploit it to gain entry. Had she sealed the box with magic? Was she a witch like Emily? Elena, who had been floundering to put her key in the ignition of her car, stopped as she saw him puzzling over the door. She'd been in too much of a rush to start the car to think about locking the doors, and in all honesty it wasn't like a lock would ever stop a hungry vampire, yet Damon just stood there looking perplexed. It was like he had no idea how to get inside the car. She clicked the locks shut anyway and cautiously she rolled the window down a crack and stared as his eyes widened in wonderment. "You are surely a powerful witch!" His voice sounded full of respect and Elena took a second to listen to how he was speaking.

"I'm not a witch Damon, I'm human. You know that, you know me…don't you?" Damon had been missing for three days. Elena had been the last one to see him, though she had lied and allowed Stefan to believe he had been the last one to see his brother. She had assumed Damon had fled the town out of guilt and self-pity and she'd been too angry with him to care when he hadn't shown up for a couple of days; but then Stefan had started to worry and Elena had reluctantly agreed to help look for the missing Salvatore. She'd been on her way out of town when she'd spotted him lying in the middle of the road and had presumed he was just drunk like usual.

She wished he was just drunk, but she could tell from the look on his face that something wasn't right. She'd thought he'd been calling her Katherine to get a rise out of her, to try and play her, but as his pale blue eyes watched her every move intently she realised he had no idea who she was. He shook his head at her and looked more like a scared child than a deadly vampire. "I'm sorry I do not. If you are not Katherine then I do not know you madam…but you must know _her_? To have a face such as yours, you must be a relative of some sort?"  
"Uh, yeah, you could say that." Elena shrugged, not wanting to get in to a lengthy conversation about being the doppelganger.  
"Do you know where she is? I must speak to her! I'm afraid I'm quite confused and I do not remember how I came to be here…"

"Damon, what's the last thing you _do_ remember?" Elena quizzed as she tried to discreetly pull her cell phone out of the front pocket of her jeans. She didn't want to make any sudden movements for fear of startling him. It was a waste of time though as the phone didn't even have one lousy bar of signal. She was on her own with a dangerously confused Damon. He frowned at her, his handsome face becoming creased as he wracked his brain.  
"I was at a ball being held by the Lockwoods…" Elena tried not to frown herself, because _that_really narrowed down a time frame in Mystic Falls history. "My brother Stefan and I were accompanying Miss Katherine…why do you look like her? Please, where is she? I need to see her-"

"Damon, Katherine's gone. She left a long time ago…" His eyes were wide with desperate longing and Elena realised she was staring at the human Damon who had loved the vampire Katherine unconditionally; or at least he thought he was still human. Sighing, she unlocked the doors and leant over to open the passenger door for him. Damon took an abrupt step back and stared warily at the partially open door. "Look, there's a lot you don't remember and I can't take you to Katherine, but I can take you to Stefan, ok? You just have to get in and promise not to hurt me!"  
"Why would I hurt you?" He frowned at her, unaware of just how many times he'd done so in the past. He wasn't sure why he'd even chased her, it had just been instinct. His mind was stuck in 1864 and had been wiped clean of all the atrocities he had committed over the proceeding centuries. He had no idea what he was capable of. "You are my rescuer Miss Elena, and for that I am eternally grateful." He offered her a low sweeping bow and for a second she considered the possibility that he really was just screwing with her; but there was an honest sincerity in his eyes that she had seldom seen there before and she leant over to push the door open a little further.  
"Get in."

He did as instructed and climbed in to the car. He sat in the passenger seat staring at all of the lights and buttons inside the mysterious metal box. He left the door open and Elena had to lean over him to close it. He stiffened as she pulled the door shut and his cheeks were flushed as she took her seat again. For all the girl looked like Katherine she was still a stranger to him and he was surprised by her apparent ease at being without a chaperone around him. He pondered for a moment whether she could be some sort of working girl, accustomed to being alone in the company of men, but he decided to keep that thought to himself since she seemed to be helping him. She also lacked the roughness of the working girls he had encountered while he was part of the Confederacy. Despite her odd attire, and her earlier foul mouth, the girl seemed to be the picture of innocence and good breeding.

She turned a key inside of a lock on the wheel in front of her and the metal box roared in to life. Had she not sealed him inside he would have shot out of the box in fear, but as it was he was trapped and he had to settle for nervously clinging to the seat below him. Elena saw his unease and placed a gentle hand on his knee. His thoughts turned from fear to lust as he felt the material of his strange trousers grow tighter against him. Elena was a stranger, but she wore his lover's face and his body was used to reacting to her. He tried to hide his fear, but when she pressed a pedal on the floor the roaring sound increased and the box moved forward. "What magic is this? Where are the horses?" He leant forward to look through the glass window in front of him, peering to see what was pulling the box along the road.

Elena chuckled and he felt a sense of calm wash over him at the soothing sound. She was not afraid of the moving box in the slightest, and he had apparently said something funny to her. "This is called a car, Damon. It doesn't need horses. There's a sort of…um…a steam engine, like a train, and that makes it move."  
"Amazing." Damon breathed as he turned to the viewing panel on his right and watched the wheels rolling along the road, pulled by the unseen force of the steam engine that Elena spoke of. "There is another!" He pointed out with a touch of boyish excitement as another car sped past them on the road. "That one moves faster, may we go faster?" He enquired and Elena indulged him by putting her foot down a little. His eyes lit up and for a short while his fear was forgotten.

When they pulled up outside the Boarding House his expression grew wary again. "Why do you bring me here? Stefan will be with father at-" Elena cut him off as she took hold of one of his hands in her own and he turned his attention away from the darkened house to look at her. She was every bit as ravishing as Katherine; and perhaps more. There was gentleness about her as she held his hand that he had never seen in his lover. Even before she had admitted what she was to him, Katherine had never passed for innocent.  
"Damon, remember I said you've forgotten about a lot of stuff? Well, this is something you've forgotten. You and Stefan live here now, at the boarding house."  
"And what of my father?" He asked her, but his sullen eyes had already guessed the truth. "Is he dead?" Elena nodded, glad he had asked. She wasn't really sure how she was supposed to break the news to him that his father was dead, given that it had happened over a century ago.

"And me?" Damon's pale blue orbs had never looked so pitiful as he placed his hand over Elena's. He finally voiced his fears of what had happened to him. "Am I dead too?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't usually update so quickly, but since I'm English I couldn't watch the second episode of season 4 last night so I had to make do with writing fan fiction instead. A big thanks to everyone who's reading and for the positive feedback, I'm usually dubious about writing for a new fandom so it's nice to know people are interested. Also this is set loosely around mid-season 3 and any memories are in Italics.  
**

Elena bit at her lip as she held her cell phone to her ear. She was trying to get through to Stefan, who was god-knows-where searching for his brother, but he wasn't picking up his phone. It went to voicemail for the third time and she left him yet another urgent message for him to get in touch with her.

Across the room from her, Damon was sitting in one of the antique armchairs by the fire. His eyes were glued to the flames and his mind was a million miles away as Elena approached him. "Damon?" She kept her tone low and soft, as though she were speaking to a child. When they'd returned to the boarding house Elena had been forced to explain why they weren't going to his father's mansion. She had tried to tell him as little as possible, not wanting to overload him with too much information at once. He had known he was a vampire, everything about his body had felt wrong when he'd woken in the middle of the road and he had known what Katherine must have done to him; but to have it confirmed to him had somehow made it all the more real and he had been slumped silently by the fire for almost an hour whilst Elena tried to get in touch with Stefan.

He looked up at her with such sad pitiful eyes that she felt her heart break for him. She had seen Damon at some of his lowest moments, yet he had never looked so utterly _lost_. "I can't get hold of Stefan, but I'll keep trying."  
"I want Katherine." He grumbled, his eyes returning to the fire as he held up his glass of bourbon to his lips. Elena noticed the decanter on the table beside him and guessed he'd been drinking the entire time she'd been on the phone. A drunk and brooding Damon was familiar territory for her and something she could deal with; unlike a Damon who had somehow forgotten over a century of his life.  
"Katherine's not here-" She went to take the glass away from him but he grabbed her wrist with his free hand. She jumped and had to bite back a scream. Damon relaxed his grip, keeping a firm hold of his glass, as his pale eyes looked at her inquisitively.  
"You're afraid of me." It was a statement, not a question. "You're shaking…and earlier you ran from me. Why do I frighten you?"

_"I'm not afraid of you, Damon."  
"Well you should be!"_

Elena took a second to answer, letting her racing heart settle to ensure her voice didn't come out strangled when she replied. When Damon had first arrived back in Mystic Falls she had been terrified by him, the wild and dangerous Salvatore brother who thrived on blood and chaos; but then he'd shown her a different side, the softer side that may have once been the human Damon Salvatore, and she'd forgotten just how dangerous he could be. She wouldn't make that mistake again; even without his memory the vampire sitting in front of her was a predator. "Y-you're a vampire, Damon. Do I really need another reason?"  
"But we _are _acquaintances you and I? You came looking for me, you know where I live and you share my secret…" He got to his feet and Elena took a hasty step back. His face paled as he realised his actions had unnerved her and he took a respectful step back himself. "I apologise Miss Elena, I do not mean to make you…uncomfortable; but I do wish to know more. Where has Katherine gone? Why has she abandoned me? Why do I not remember being turned?"

Elena was tempted to tell him a few home truths about Katherine, about how she had let him think she was trapped in the church for almost a hundred and fifty years, but the memory of how unstable Damon had become after learning the truth kept her tongue still. The last thing she needed was for him to get upset and take it out on her. Vampires were highly emotional creatures and she had learnt first-hand how Damon's emotions could get the better of him.

Adopting a soothing tone again she forced herself to reach out and put a hand on his arm as she guided him back down in to the armchair. "I don't know where she is and I don't know why you can't remember, but we're going to fix it. Stefan will be back soon and everything will be fine." She wasn't sure whether she was trying to reassure Damon or herself, but somehow she didn't think he was buying it. He looked at her sceptically and for a moment he almost looked himself; but then the moment passed and he went back to looking confused. "I'll try Stefan again; maybe he'll pick up this time." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and the vampire in front of her frowned at it.  
"How will that call for Stefan? I do not hear any noise from it, is it magic?"

"Uh, no, Stefan has one of these too and it lets us talk to each other when we're really far away." She could see he was about to ask more questions and decided to distract him by picking up the remote for the flat screen TV mounted on the far wall. The TV set sprang in to life and the home cinema system Damon had installed boomed with the thunderous sound of the war movie that was showing on the channel it had been left on. Damon shot out of his chair so fast that he ended up on the opposite side of the room in a split second. He still seemed to have little control over his vampire enhanced body and Elena silently prayed that his lack of control didn't extend to his hunger.

"There are tiny people trapped inside this box, we must help them!" Damon recovered from his initial shock of the noise and rushed over to the TV on the wall, running his hands along the top and sides for signs of how to gain entry in to it.  
"No, Damon, that's called a TV. They're not trapped in there, it's…it's sort of a moving book." Elena struggled to try and put the television in to a context that Damon would understand. Picking up the remote again she turned it off, deciding TV had been a bad idea. Damon stepped away from the now blank screen and picked up the remote after her. He stared at the little square remote in his hand, as perplexed by it as Elena's moving box and the contraption that she had said would summon his brother.  
"Your world is full of strange metal boxes, and I do not like them." He sulked as he placed the remote back down with as much care as if it were a loaded gun.

"Elena?" Stefan finally answered his phone and Damon's head snapped up as he caught the sound of his brother's voice.  
"Stefan? Your magic box works!" He grinned as he walked over to where Elena stood with the phone to her ear and shouted in to the handset. "Brother! It is good to hear your voice!"  
"Damon? He came back? Is he drunk?" Stefan quizzed and Elena struggled to hear him over Damon shouting in to the phone, and subsequently her ear. She held a finger up in front of his mouth to silence him so she could hear Stefan.  
"Yeah he came back…sort of."  
"Where the hell has he been, does he realise I've been halfway across the state looking for him-"  
"Stefan!" Elena snapped, it was bad enough to have one Salvatore shouting in her ear never mind two at the same time. "Something's wrong, I found him in the middle of the road out past Wickery Bridge…he doesn't remember anything after 1864." The youngest Salvatore fell silent for a moment; he dropped his voice in an attempt to stop Damon overhearing him.  
"You're sure he isn't playing you?"

Elena watched as Damon returned his attention to the TV and prodded the screen in an attempt to get it to work again. He pushed the eject button for the built in DVD player and took a startled step back from it before sticking his face up to the opening and shouting in to it. "Hello? Small beings, you can come out now!"  
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not faking." Elena had had her own suspicions about Damon's amnesia, but even the cunning older Salvatore couldn't keep up such an act for so long.  
"I'm on my way back. I'll be a few hours." Stefan was still struggling with the after effects of shutting off his humanity thanks to Klaus' compulsion, but he was slowly returning to his former self and he added, "You're not safe alone with him Elena, call Alaric to keep an eye on him and get out of there."  
"I'm fine Stefan. He thought I was Katherine…I think having someone who at least looks familiar around is helping him-"  
"If he's confusing you with Katherine they're you're definitely not safe Elena, get out of there!" He snapped at her, sparking her Gilbert stubborn streak. They weren't together anymore and he had no right to try and tell her what to do.  
"I said I'm fine. I'll be at the boarding house when you get back." She hung up before he could argue and ignored her phone went it started ringing a second later. Maybe knowing she was alone with Damon would make him put his foot down a little.

"Stefan worries for your safety?" He questioned as she muted her phone. He looked a little bashful at having listened in on her and Stefan's conversation, but with his vampire hearing he couldn't have missed what they were saying.  
"Constantly." Elena managed a weak smile. "He'll be back soon. I'll stay with you until then." Damon frowned as he looked at the clock on the mantle, it was well after midnight.  
"Will your parents not worry where you are? Or your husband?" There was something about the way he probed her that made Elena question again whether he could be faking. If she found out he was really just playing her she would find the nearest sharp wooden object and put all of the training he'd given her over the summer to good use.

"My parents are dead, and I don't have a husband. There's just me and Jeremy, my little brother."  
"You are destitute?" Damon's eyes widened. "You and your brother must live here under mine and Stefan's patronage, whatever money I have I will gladly share-" He looked so sincere and Elena couldn't help giggling at him.  
"We have a house, and my parents left us some money…but I appreciate the offer, after all I'm practically a stranger to you."  
"On the contrary, other than Stefan, it would appear you are all I have in this world Miss Elena. I appreciate your kindness." He stood with his back straight and his arms tucked behind him, though the image of a southern gentleman was a little ruined by the bad boy leather jacket that he was rarely without. "But if my brother believes you are in danger here then you should not stay. I will be quite alright until Stefan returns." It was a lie. She could see the fear in his eyes. He was scared and confused, and the last thing he wanted to add to that list was alone. He was trying to do the right thing.

"I don't think you should be alone right now. When did you last eat, are you hungry?" She changed the conversation, knowing that the vampire would probably be verging on starving if he hadn't eaten in the three days he had been missing.  
"I am hungry, but I don't feel I have the stomach for food right now." He felt queasy and nauseous and the thought of food didn't help matters.  
"I wasn't talking about food, Damon. I meant blood." His eyes lit up at the word, but he pushed his desires deep down and tried to appear uninterested. He had seen Katherine feed plenty of times and he didn't want to put a young lady through such a sight.  
"I can last."  
"If you're hungry you're more of a danger to me…you have to feed." Elena persisted; she would rather have him feast on a few blood packs instead of turning on her.

"Very well." Damon nodded at her, knowing she was right. He obediently followed her down in to the basement like a lost puppy. He cringed at the sight of the blood bags in yet another metal box. The air inside the box was cold, though the cold did not affect him the way he remembered it was supposed to. Elena shivered from the cold as she reached in and pulled out a pack for him. The fine hairs on her arms stood up with the temperature and small goose pimples formed on her smooth skin. He followed her arm up to her shoulder and his eyes settled on the pulse at her neck again. The blood bags looked revolting and his stomach was churning at the thought of drinking the sticky contents inside. Elena, however, looked absolutely edible. He could hear the steady beat of her heart and almost feel the pull of the blood pumping around her system. The thought of drinking from her was far more appetizing than the blood bag she held out for him. His hunger for the young woman manifested in more ways than one and he once again felt the material of his strange trousers straining against him.

"Damon?" Elena prompted, her big brown eyes looking up at him expectantly, and then warily as she registered the look on his face. She jumped as he snatched the blood bag out of her hands and turned his back on her to feed.  
"You should leave Elena. My brother was right; it's not safe for you here." He stood with his shoulders hunched as he felt his fangs tearing through his gums. It was a strange feeling, yet not a painful one. He felt deeply shameful at the thoughts he'd had about hurting the girl who had done nothing but help him, and he didn't want her anywhere near him when he fed for fear he'd turn on her.  
"I'll be upstairs." Elena's voice was firm and left little room for argument. She left him in the basement and went back upstairs to wait for him.

With the door to the basement closed behind her she leant against it and let out a shaky breath. Just a few days earlier she had been angry enough with Damon to consider staking him, but the man downstairs did not remember their argument or his subsequent actions. He didn't remember why he'd been ashamed enough to leave town and, just like Elena, he had no idea what had happened to him afterwards. He was oblivious and in some ways defenceless, yet at the same time he was still nature's most deadly predator and there was little more than a flight of stairs and a wooden door separating them. Despite her insistence on staying, she would feel safer when Stefan was back.

She returned to the living room and curled up on the chair by the fire that Damon had been sitting in earlier. His empty glass was still on the small table beside her and she topped it up from the whisky decanter beside it. She rarely drank and as result the hard liquor felt like it was burning her throat as it went down, but it left a soothing warmth in the pit of her stomach and she took another sip. She needed something to calm her nerves and Damon's expensive bourbon was the best thing on offer.

She sat sipping it until the glass was empty and frowned at her watch as she realised it was almost two in the morning. Damon had been downstairs far too long and she hadn't heard a peep from him. She cautiously got to her feet and recovered the stake that the brothers kept hidden in Damon's drinks cabinet before she made her way to the basement door. It was closed over just as she had left it, but that was little reassurance in the eerily silent house. She twisted the door knob and as the door creaked open it sounded like booming thunder to Elena's ears. "Damon?" She flicked on the switch for the light and the single bulb hanging above the stairs made little impression on the engulfing darkness at the bottom. "Damon? Are you down there?" She called again, wishing he would answer her.

Despite every ounce of common sense telling her not to, Elena slowly descended the stairs. She kept a tight grip on the stake in her hand as she carried on calling out for the oldest Salvatore. "Damon? Answer me!" She stopped in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs as she found the floor littered in empty blood bags. Damon was nowhere in sight though. She began to worry whether Damon had been like Stefan when he'd first been turned. Had he been a blood thirsty ripper just like his baby brother? Or had he always been in control of his thirst?

Pushing down the fear that threatened to overwhelm her, she carried on moving deeper in to the basement, following the trail of empty blood bags. They stopped at the cell that had been used for holding more than a few vampires in its time and the stake fell from her hand. It clattered to the floor and Damon's dark eyes darted up to look at her. They were black with hunger. His dark shirt shone in the weak light from the blood smeared down the front of it and the same blood was spread all over his arms and mouth. His gaze moved from Elena to the stake at his feet. "Damon…" She couldn't risk bending down to retrieve it. The slightest move could tip him off and he'd be on her long before she could get her hands on the useless lump of wood.  
"Elena…" Her name came from his lips like a strangled cry as he looked down at his blood stained hands and then back up at her. His eyes had returned to their normal colour and, despite being covered in someone else's blood, he looked almost pitiful, sitting huddled in the corner of the room. "What have I become?" She gasped as he moved and was suddenly on his knees in front of her. He buried his face against her leg as his hands found her thighs and he began to weep.

She brought her hand up slowly and ran it through his hair, trying to find somewhere to touch him without getting covered in blood herself. "What have you done to me Katherine?" He whimpered and she wasn't sure whether he was addressing her or just talking out loud. "What monster have you made of me?" His hands moved to Elena's wrists and he held them painfully tight as he got to his feet and stared her down. His eyes had turned from full of sorrow to almost manic and it was clear that he wasn't seeing Elena when he looked at her. With lightning speed he pushed her up against the wall and his fangs were out.

"Damon, please! Stop! I'm not Katherine! It's Elena! Please, you don't want to do this!" Elena screamed at him as she struggled uselessly against him. He was a centuries old vampire and there was no way she would be able to break free from his grip if he didn't want her to.

_"Damon, stop! You don't want to do this!"  
"Oh but I really do Elena. You can't imagine just how badly I want this."_

"STOP IT!" She screamed in his face, tears streaming down her cheeks as she prepared herself for the inevitable.  
"Elena?" His grip on her wrists loosened, though he didn't let go of her, and for a second as he looked at her he seemed almost himself; but then the confusion returned and he collapsed to his knees again, sobbing in to her leg. "I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please." Elena stood still and silent, staring ahead of her as she bit down on her lips to stop herself from screaming. They stood like that for what seemed like hours, but by the time Elena coaxed Damon to his feet and back upstairs she found the clock had barely moved ten minutes. Stefan would still be a good hour away at least.

Her arms and clothes were smeared with blood from Damon holding her and the pungent coppery smell was enough to turn her stomach. Damon was even worse off than her. "Come on." She kept hold of his hand as she led him upstairs to his room. She sat him on the chair by his bed and headed in to the en-suite. She started the shower for him and closed the screen back over as she went to fetch him. He was still sat in the chair, staring blindly at the blood that marred his pale flesh. "You need to wash the blood off. I'll show you how the shower works." He blinked at her as she finished speaking, as though he hadn't understood a word, and she had to take his hand again and lead him in to the bathroom.

"This is a shower, it's like a bath but we have running water and it doesn't run out. This one here changes the temperature and when you're done you turn it all the way back to shut it off, ok?" He nodded at her before stepping straight under the spray of searing hot water. He didn't bother to remove his clothes and the silk shirt quickly clung to the contours of his chiselled body. Elena left him to it and made her way to the en-suite in Stefan's room. She still had a few things left in there, including her shampoo and some scented body wash that mercifully took away the smell of blood from her skin. She stood under the hot water for as long as she could, until her silky skin was red raw and she had to turn the water off. She left her bloodied clothes in a heap at the foot of Stefan's bed and went over to his closet to find something to wear.

"Elena?" She almost jumped out of her skin as Stefan called out to her and appeared at his bedroom door. He'd certainly made good time. His eyes went from the towel wrapped around her body to the bloody clothes on the floor. "What did he do to you?" He growled as he checked her over and found the red marks on her tender wrists.  
"Stefan, stop!" She pushed him away, a little sick of the Salvatore's thinking they could just put their hands on her body whenever they felt like it. Of course Stefan knew every inch of her body, intimately, but that was when they were a couple and she wasn't comfortable with him checking her over when their complicated relationship was so blurry. "I'm fine, it's not my blood." She added more softly, which calmed the younger Salvatore a bit.

The hard edge returned to his eyes as he folded his arms across his chest to stop himself from reaching out for her again. "I told you to leave. He's dangerous Elena, when are you going to realise that?"  
"It wasn't his fault. He freaked out when he fed; he thought I was Katherine again for a second. I'm really worried about him Stefan, this really isn't an act. He doesn't remember anything after 1864, not Katherine, the tomb, Klaus, the Originals…do you think somebody _did_ this to him?"  
"I dunno. It's possible. Damon's made a lot of enemies over the years, but what would someone gain from making him forget everything?" Stefan shrugged as he politely turned away to let her pull on a vest and a pair of shorts that she had left there back when they were together. He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to turn and look at her.

"Maybe Katherine had something to do with it? I mean he was infatuated with her back then, maybe she just wants him for her lap dog again?" Elena suggested as she ran her hands through her still damp hair to stop it from tangling. Without her straighteners it would dry a little curly, which would make her look even more like Katherine and definitely wouldn't help with Damon.  
"She doesn't know anything…" Stefan began and then faltered as Elena stared at him. He cleared his throat as he looked away from her again. "That's where I was. I thought she might have known where Damon had gone-"  
"Stefan, you don't have to explain yourself to me. We're not together anymore." Elena tried her best to sound like a grown up, but couldn't help her tone coming out a little petulant.  
"Right." Stefan nodded curtly. "Well she didn't know anything. She wanted to come back with me, but I told her to keep her distance. The last thing we need is her poisoning Damon's mind."

"He's been asking for her. I didn't tell him what happened with the three of you, just the bare basics that she turned the two of you."  
"That's probably for the best." He agreed. "Can you maybe ask Bonnie to look in to this for us? In case this is magic related and someone has done this to him? I know she's not Damon's biggest fan-"  
"I'll ask." Elena promised. "You should probably check on Damon. I left him in the shower." She stepped around the youngest Salvatore and led him to Damon's room. She couldn't hear the shower running so he had at least paid attention to her when she'd shown him how to work it. He'd seemed almost comatose when she'd led him up from the basement. "I need to go, Jere will be wondering where I am. Call me and let me know how he's doing yeah?" She left Stefan to see to his brother and collected her purse from the living room.

The bitter night air stung at her exposed flesh as she slipped in to her car. She locked the doors and cranked up the heating before slumping forward against the steering wheel. She let out a heavy sigh and fought back the tears that threatened to spill out again, as well as the hysteria that was bubbling up inside of her. Nothing in her life had ever been simple since the Salvatore brothers had come in to it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Again, I don't usually update so quickly, but I finally got to watch the latest episode of season four yesterday and I already had half of this chapter done so decided to finish it off and get it posted. Memories in italics.  
**

"Elena?" Alaric was sitting on the couch when she slipped through the front door. He was sat in front of the TV in the dark with a beer in his hand. "I'd probably be a terrible guardian if I didn't ask where you've been all night." He smiled warmly at her as she took a seat beside him. He'd known Damon had gone missing, but unlike Stefan he hadn't been too worried about it. No one really had. Damon was Damon and it wasn't too out of character for him to just up and leave without saying a word.

Alaric though, despite his many flaws, was not the type to just skip town. He had been a life saver when Jenna had died, leaving Elena and Jeremy without any family. He had become something of a stepfather to them, which was ironic given that in another life he had been married to Elena's biological mother. He didn't have to move in and help support them, but he had done just that and between the two of them he and Damon had kept Elena going over the crazy summer that Stefan had disappeared with Klaus.

Elena had spent a lot of time with Damon over the summer, urging him to keep looking for his brother while the older Salvatore tried to distract her to stop her chasing recklessly after Klaus. He'd even taken her and Jeremy to the Zoo one day. She'd been sulking in her room for days on end, refusing to see anyone or to eat anything, when Damon had turned up, barged in to her room and ordered her to get dressed. She'd gorged herself on cotton candy and hot dogs that day and even managed a smile or two, as Damon had only been too happy to point out to her. When she'd fallen asleep in the car on the way back she'd woken up in her bed the next morning. She had seen glimpses of Damon's softer side on many occasions, but the man she had found in the road was almost a different person. Polite, kind, bashful…he wasn't Damon. Not the Damon she knew anyway.

"Long story." She sighed as she pulled the blanket down from the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. Ric had spent most of the summer sleeping on the couch, not wanting to use her parent's or her aunt's room, and though he had finally started sleeping in Jenna's room he still occasionally ended up on the couch and so the blanket was usually just left there in case. She explained about finding Damon in the middle of the road on the way out of town and Alaric listened intently as she described how he was acting. Especially the part about him freaking out over feeding.  
"Wow, from what Damon's told me he didn't adjust too well to the blood at first, guess he's got to get used to it all over again " He shook his head as he took a drink of his beer.  
"Damon talked to you about that stuff?" Elena was surprised. She knew he and Alaric were close, but Damon seldom discussed being turned or his early life as a vampire. She hadn't imagined he would have confided in Ric about it. He shrugged at her, his bleary eyes bloodshot. His drinking had been getting worse since Jenna's death, though Elena couldn't really blame him. When it came to women Alaric had a poorer track record than most. The last two women he had loved had ended up dead; and vampires.

"Not often, usually when we're both pretty out of it. He didn't take Stefan forcing him to turn very well. Kind of explains a lot to be honest, not that I'm making excuses for him. Damon's still an ass…sorry about the mess by the way. I'll clean up in the morning." He nodded towards the coffee table that was littered with empty beer bottles. Her mother would have freaked out at the mess. She had always been such a tidy person, and though Elena inherited some of that from her, she had too much on her mind to worry about a few empty bottles on the coffee table.

"No problem. I'm going to go bed; thank god it's Saturday tomorrow, there is no way I could get up for school in the morning!" It was almost three AM and Elena was wrecked. She bid goodnight to Ric and went upstairs to bed, taking his blanket with her. It had been a long night and she was more than ready to climb in to bed. Her phone went off just as she pulled back the covers though and when she answered she knew she wouldn't be getting to bed anytime soon.  
"Damon's gone missing."  
"What?" She'd just left him with Stefan less than half an hour ago. How could he loose him in such a short space of time? "What happened?" She snapped, aware of just how angry her voice sounded, but she couldn't help thinking of Damon out there somewhere, lost and confused. He was vulnerable and he was in no state to be out on his own.

"He kept asking for Katherine." Stefan let out a heavy sigh on the other end of the line. Katherine was something of a sore point between the brothers and Elena could only imagine what had been said for Damon to storm out. "I had to tell him, Elena." She felt a knot tighten in her stomach. The last thing they needed was for Damon to flip out over Katherine again on top of everything else they had to deal with.  
"I didn't tell him everything, just that Katherine had abandoned us. He didn't believe me and he stormed out. It'll be light soon and I don't know if he had his ring on." It took a moment for Stefan's words to sink in and Elena tried to wrack her brain to remember if Damon had taken the ring off before getting in the shower; or if he'd even been wearing it when she'd found him.  
"I'll get Alaric to help me look for him, you call Caroline and Tyler, maybe they can help search."

"Damon's not himself right now; it might not be a good idea for you to go looking for him. If he mistakes you for Katherine again-"  
"I can't just sit here and do nothing!" Elena objected, already pulling on a pair of jeans as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder. "I'm going out looking; call me if you find him." She hung up before he could object and pulled a sweater out of her closet. She quickly went to her window to check whether it was raining again and her eyes landed on a shadow huddled by the tree in her yard. She slipped downstairs and out of the front door without Alaric hearing her.

"Damon?" She called to him from the porch. She didn't want to step out from the comforting glow of the porch light. The rain had started again and a low fog had rolled in. She could barely make out Damon's dark silhouette against the tree, until he moved and she saw the light flash against his ring. At least he was wearing it.  
"Elena?" He stumbled towards her and she caught sight of the bottle clutched in his hand. That wasn't good. "I didn't have anywhere to go, and then I picked up your scent…" He slumped down against the steps and brought the bottle of bourbon to his lips. "You smell divine, like sunshine." He smiled absently up at her and she felt a blush spreading across her cheeks as she tucked her hair behind her ear.  
"Thanks, I guess…You shouldn't have run off Damon, Stefan's worried about you." She knelt down beside him and coaxed the bottle away from him. He gave it up without a fight as he slumped forward and held his head in his hands.

"Everything's wrong." He sighed as he let out a shaky breath. Putting the half empty liquor bottle down Elena placed a hand on his back and he stiffened. "Everything but you…I feel safe when I'm with you. Please don't turn me away?" He turned and took her hand in one of his as he stared up at her with his wide innocent eyes. She felt a lump forming in her throat as he looked at her like she was his entire world. "Please Katherine, I beg of you, don't leave me again!"

Elena took in a sharp breath and closed her eyes over for a second to regain her composure. He was confused again. Damon's grasp of reality was tenuous at best, and being drunk wouldn't help matters. "You can stay for tonight, but you have to go back to the boarding house tomorrow, ok?" She didn't bother trying to correct him, he was too disorientated to grasp that she wasn't his former lover. Getting back to her feet she kept hold of his hand and led him inside the house. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, considering whether or not she should tell Alaric that Damon was staying the night. It was _her _house after all, but Ric had sort of taken over for Jenna as Elena and Jeremy's guardian and it would only be right to tell him that a vampire was staying over.

It turned out she didn't need to worry about telling Ric. She heard his snoring over the sound of the TV and decided he could just find out in the morning. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong anyway; she wasn't sneaking some teenage boy up to her room. It was Damon, who admittedly had been in Elena's room more times than she could remember. He'd never once been there because she'd invited him to stay though. He just tended to show up when she was sleeping, usually for no other reason than to irritate her. Except for during the summer when Elena had been plagued with nightmares of Jenna's death for weeks and she'd woken up with Damon holding her on more than one occasion. He had been there for her when she had been at her lowest and she was simply returning the favour.

Jeremy's door was thankfully shut over as she ushered Damon in to her room. She crept over to the door of the adjoining bathroom that led to her brother's room and locked it. She didn't want Damon to go wandering in the night and come across a sleeping Jeremy. "Will you be ok in the chair with-" She was abruptly cut off as she turned away from the bathroom door and found Damon's lips on hers. For a moment she was too stunned to react. He'd kissed her before of course, and she had even kissed him once, but that had been under completely different circumstances. He had been dying from a werewolf's bite and had barely been conscious when Elena had pressed her lips to his. This time however, he was very much alive.

"I've missed you my sweet." His hands found her waist as he pulled her flush against him; causing Elena to gasp and he used it to his advantage to deepen the kiss. The sensation of his tongue caressing against hers was enough to pull Elena out of her stupor and she pushed him away. He stumbled back, his confusion written all over his face. "Katherine? What's wrong?" He took a step towards her, but Elena held her hand up to stop him.  
"Damon, I'm not Katherine!" She tried to sound angry, but her voice came out more exasperated. She was too tired to keep repeating herself to him. He stared at her for a moment until his eyes seemed to become less clouded with confusion.  
"You're Elena." He smiled at her and it was sincere. It was nothing like his usual arrogant smirk. "You smell like sunshine."

"That's right. I'm Elena, and I'm human, so I _really _need to get some sleep. You can sleep on the window seat, ok?" She picked up Alaric's blanket from her bed and handed it to him; not that the vampire would feel the cold anyway, but Damon's mind was still adjusting to the fact that he was no longer human and some home comforts couldn't hurt. She sat him down on the padded window seat. It wasn't exactly as luxurious or comfortable as Damon's bed, but it would have to do. After sending Stefan a text to say she'd found Damon and not to worry, she pulled the covers back on her own bed and climbed in to it. "Goodnight, Damon."  
"Goodnight…Elena."

She slept fitfully for what remained of the night, constantly waking up to check on her unexpected roommate. Every time she woke she found Damon still huddled under the blanket and curled up on the window seat where she'd left him. That was of course until her alarm went off at seven, she'd forgotten to turn it off for the weekend and as she reached out to shut it off someone beat her to it. "Damn noise." She heard Damon grumble from behind her as his arm went over her and swatted the alarm clock like it was a mosquito buzzing around him. The little clock went flying off the bedside table and one half landed on the carpet with a thump while the other rolled towards the bathroom door. Elena was still and silent from the shock of waking up with him in her bed, even as Damon's arm found its way around her waist and he nuzzled his face in to the crook of her neck.

For a moment she wondered whether she'd only dreamt that she had found Damon alone in the middle of the road with no memory of his vampire life, that he'd come to tease her as he often did, but then he pressed his lips to her ear and let out a content sigh, "Good morning lover." She had often awoke to find the oldest Salvatore in her bed, but he had never been so brazen about holding her; even Damon, as cocksure as he was, wouldn't push it that far.  
"Damon." Her voice was tight as she struggled not to lose her cool with the muddled vampire. He was confused, he didn't know what he was doing.  
"Yes Katherine?" His hand slipped from her waist and travelled down her thigh, his fingers leaving her skin tingling in their wake.  
"Not Katherine!" She shrieked as she scrambled out of bed as fast as she could, taking the covers with her. Her eyes widened as she found he was wearing nothing more than his silk boxer shorts. He frowned at her, but took the time to process her words as he stared her down. Elena was glad she'd had the presence of mind to take the blankets with her to cover most of her body from his probing gaze. Something clicked in his mind and he went from relaxed to nineteenth century uptight in half a second. He jumped out of bed himself so fast that he ended up backed against her window. He snatched up the blanket he'd left on the window seat and wrapped it around himself.

"Elena, I'm sorry…I thought…I-"  
"I know, you thought I was Katherine." She snapped at him and let out a heavy sigh as she ran a hand through her hair. She'd had maybe a few hours of broken sleep at best and she felt worse than when she had gone to sleep. Damon seemed to have sobered up though and he recognised who she was, which was definitely a positive. He'd returned to his bashful state as a blush spread over his cheeks and it was almost funny to see him bumbling about as he tried to pick up his clothes from the floor; except Elena was dressed in only a tiny pair of shorts and a vest herself. "Look, I need a shower and you need to get dressed. So get ready and _wait here._ Don't move, ok?"  
"Ok." He nodded at her and it was a nice change to be confronted by a Damon who did as he was asked without any snide comments or back chat. Had he had his memory he probably would have made some joke about scrubbing her back for her.

Elena grabbed some clean clothes out of her closet and then slipped in to the bathroom. Locking the door behind her, she had the quickest shower of her life. It was more to wake her up than anything else and by the time she emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, Damon was dressed in his usual dark coloured attire, minus his leather jacket which was hanging on her door. Damon stood by her window with his hands behind his back, waiting patiently for her. The early morning light was streaming through the open curtains and bathing him in a warm glow. With his hair tussled from sleep, and there was a warmth in his eyes that Elena had rarely seen; she found it hard to tear her gaze away from him.

She and Damon's relationship had been anything but simple and the summer Stefan had gone missing had brought them even closer together; which had just served to make things all the more awkward between them. The oldest Salvatore had been her rock during a horrible period of her life and she would always be grateful for that, but she wasn't stupid enough to confuse her gratitude for something more. She couldn't deny she was attracted to Damon, anybody with eyes couldn't fail to be attracted to the brooding vampire and his chiselled body; but Elena was firmly aware of the line between attraction and desire and she had been careful not to allow herself to cross that line; though a few times she had been tottering on the edge of it. Damon, however, had taken one massive jump over that line.

_"So Saint Stefan's back and suddenly you're too good for the likes of me? Is that it Elena? Huh?" Damon was way past mad and his breath stunk of cheap bourbon as he growled in Elena's face. His usually handsome face was contorted with rage and the human teenager felt herself shrinking back away from him. It had been a long time since she had been afraid of Damon.  
"No, Damon! That's not fair! You know I…I care about you, and I appreciate that you've been there for me the last few months. I don't know what I'd do without you-"  
"Save it." He snapped at her as he picked up the crystal decanter sitting on his drinks cabinet, intending to pour himself another bourbon.  
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Elena's eyes narrowed on the glass in his hands and without warning it went flying across the room, smashing off the wall and breaking in to tiny shards. Damon heaved to catch his breath, though throwing the glass had taken none of his phenomenal strength; he was simply trying to keep his temper in check.  
"Yes, Elena. I've had enough…enough of these games!"_

"Elena?" Damon had crossed the room without her noticing and had apparently been trying to address her as she'd been lost in memories of the night she had last seen him before his disappearance. He had accused her of using him while Stefan was gone and then dropping him in favour of his brother once Stefan started to show signs of returning to his former self. He'd been a little right, but Elena had been too proud and stubborn to admit it and things had escalated from there.  
"Sorry, what?"  
"You seemed to be a million miles away, somewhere pleasant I hope?"

Her thoughts had not taken her to a nice place and the last thing she wanted was to dwell on what had happened between them four nights earlier. Pushing thoughts of that night to the back of her mind, Elena turned her attention back to the patiently smiling vampire standing in front of her. "We should get you home to Stefan." The older Salvatore lost his smile and the strong line of his jaw as he clenched it made his face more familiar to her. She was used to this side of Damon, the moody petulant side that often reared its ugly head when Stefan came up in conversation between them. He seemed angry with his baby brother and with no memory of the last century and a half it obviously had something to do with whatever Stefan had told him the previous night. Elena would have wagered her last dollar that it would have something to do with Katherine; and she would have been right.

"Stefan lies." He huffed as Elena tried to probe what was wrong. "He said that Katherine abandoned us before we had even turned…but it must be a lie! I only ever wanted to be _like_ Katherine to be _with _her. I would never have chosen to be this without her!" And he hadn't. Stefan had taken that choice away from his brother when he had forced him to feed. He'd obviously left that part out, which was probably for the best. Elena hadn't even wanted to tell Damon about Katherine abandoning them so early on. The last thing they needed was a disorientated Damon going on a rampage. He had little control over his vampire body and there was no telling how easily he could switch off his humanity again. Given that the slightest thing could push him over the edge, Katherine's betrayal could easily send him soaring over it and she had already seen him fly off the deep end enough for one week.

"Katherine…Katherine wasn't who you thought she was, Damon." Elena tried to pick her words carefully as Damon's eyes narrowed on her. "She was selfish and cunning and when it came down to it, she made sure she saved herself first." She held her breath, waiting for the fall out as he digested her words.  
"Katherine is all that and more." He nodded in agreement, taking Elena by surprise. "I know her character well Elena, she is…was, my lover. I know her flaws."  
"Then why do you love her so much?" She couldn't stop the question from leaving her lips. She had never grasped Damon's obsession with her doppelganger. Once upon a time she had loved Stefan with all of her heart, but she couldn't imagine loving someone so blindly that she could overlook the fact that they were only out for themselves. To make matters worse Katherine had never even loved him back, she'd had her heart set on Stefan and had clung to the idea of having him for as long as Damon had clung to the idea of saving Katherine from the tomb she wasn't actually in.

He smiled sheepishly as he shrugged his muscular shoulders at her, the movement pulling at his half buttoned shirt and revealing more of the creamy flesh of his toned chest. Elena mentally berated herself as she forced her eyes to meet his as he answered her like he was talking to a simple child. "The heart wants what it wants. Sometimes we're drawn to people that we shouldn't be. We love them no matter what they do to us…You'll understand that when you're a little older." He offered her a patronizing smile and she couldn't help but laugh as she shook her head at him.  
"You have no idea."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry about the delay in updating, I've got a few fics on the go and haven't had much time off work. Once again thanks to everyone who's reading and for the reviews :)**

"Elena?" The teenager cursed as she took her foot off the last stair and heard Alaric calling her from the kitchen. Damon was ahead of her and almost at the front door. She'd told him to be as quiet as possible leaving, but Ric was a hunter and he'd come to rely on his senses. He'd heard them both coming down the stairs. "You want breakfast? Is that Stefan with you?" She watched as something flickered across Damon's expression, though it was gone before Elena could question it. She let out a sigh as she led Damon in to the kitchen.  
"Uh, no. It's-"  
"Damon?" Jeremy appeared behind them as he descended the stairs and followed them in to the kitchen. Ric frowned as he looked up from the stove and found the oldest Salvatore standing between his teenage charges, but he seemed to remember that he wasn't actually Elena's father and bit back whatever he had been about to say.

"Morning Damon."  
"Good morning, sir." Damon held out his hand for Ric to shake with a wide smile, startling the other man. "Damon Salvatore."  
"Wow, you weren't kidding. He's not faking…uh, I'm Alaric. Alaric Saltzman." They shook hands and Damon turned to Jeremy. The younger Gilbert turned his nose up at the vampire's outstretched hand, but nodded at him.  
"Jeremy."  
"It's an honour to meet you both. Though from what Elena tells me we're already acquainted."  
"You stay over last night?" Jeremy quizzed as he helped himself to the carton of milk in the fridge.  
"I slept on a chair. You need not worry about your sister's virtue." Jeremy snorted with laughter and received a jab in the arm from a scowling Elena.  
"We should really be getting to the boarding house. Come on, Damon." She took his hand to lead him back to the front door and his face lit up.  
"Are we going in the car again? Can I drive?"  
"Not a chance!"

Once they were outside Elena unlocked her car and opened the door for Damon, since he just stood staring at the door. Despite his initial excitement at being back in the car, Damon seemed to go in a funk as they neared the Salvatore boarding house. When Elena pulled up outside he made no attempt to get out of the car, so she leant over to open the door for him. He caught her wrist and she tensed. "I got it." He released his grip on her and pulled the door handle to open it, but still he made no attempt to move. "Why would Alaric think that I was Stefan? Why would he think my brother had spent the night with you?" It was a loaded question and Elena wasn't sure how to answer it.  
"Stefan and I-" Without warning Damon pushed the door all the way open and was out of the car before Elena could say another word. He already had his answer.

She followed him inside and found him in the living room, helping himself to one of the many bottles of bourbon in his drinks cabinet. "Elena?" Stefan followed her in and leant against the door frame, watching Damon as he didn't bother with a glass for his alcohol, choosing to drink it straight from the bottle instead. _This_ was the brother he remembered. "Damon. Remembered anything yet?"  
"Only that it's always you little brother. It's always you." Damon replied cryptically as he picked up a second bottle from the cabinet. "Thank you for bringing me home Elena." He nodded towards her before walking out, taking both bottles with him.  
"What was that all about?" Stefan's frown deepened as he turned his attention back to Elena. She shrugged at him, though she had an inkling as to why the oldest Salvatore had gone off in a huff. "How are you doing? With everything?"  
"Everything covers a lot Stefan." She stood with her arms wrapped protectively around herself as she shifted nervously. Though Stefan was starting to return to his former self he was still far from the man she had fallen in love with the previous year. There was still an awkwardness between them that didn't seem to be getting any easier.  
"With Damon." He finally got to his point and Elena couldn't help but pick up the note of jealousy in his voice. "I know you two have been…_close, _lately."  
"Damon was there for me when I needed him. Now it's my turn to be there for him. I'm going to go see Bonnie, see if she can help."  
"I've got a few leads of my own to follow. Call me if Bonnie can help." With that Elena was dismissed and she was more than happy to leave.

She sat in her car for a moment, leaning against the wheel and taking deep breaths. She felt off balance with both brothers and it took her a minute to regain her composure. Things had been relatively simple before Stefan had left town and when he'd returned, though at first she'd been happy to have him back, it had made her friendship with Damon that much more complicated. Stefan had come back to Mystic Falls as a different person and Elena had started to make her peace with that, but to lose Damon too… she felt tears pricking at her eyes again and she cursed herself for being so over emotional; but in truth Damon had been more than a crutch for her to lean on over the summer, he'd become a good friend. He'd promised never to leave her like Stefan had, then he'd ran out of town after their argument the other night. She was angry at him and worried _for_him at the same time and all of her feelings were tangling together in to a huge mess that she couldn't sort through.

Pushing back her tears she put the car in to gear and tore out of the Salvatore's drive. She didn't notice Damon's curtains twitching as he stood by his window, watching her go. He felt almost hollow without her by his side. Ever since he'd woken up in the middle of the road the night before, nothing in his life had made sense; except for Elena. Being with her felt right, and he'd been a little disappointed when she'd insisted he had to come back to the boarding house. When he'd finally realised her connection to his brother he had felt crushed. Elena belonged to Stefan. She wanted him, just as Katherine had wanted his baby brother. Though he'd been confused the night before, he had quickly come to realise the human girl was nothing like Katherine; she was kind and sweet, if maybe a little naïve. Of course she had chosen the virtuous Stefan to court her. He slumped in to the plump leather chair by the window and nursed his wounded pride with the bourbon.

Nothing in the room looked familiar. Stefan had told him was his, and the grand room seemed like it could be his, but it just didn't seem right. He'd felt more at home in Elena's room. He had woken early that morning and found her sleeping peacefully in her bed. Moving silently he had sat by the edge of her bed, watching the young beauty sleep. He had wanted to lie with her more than he had ever wanted to lie with another woman. Though he'd been raised a gentleman, the oldest Salvatore had been something of a rogue even before he'd met Katherine and he had not been able to resist lying down beside her. It had felt familiar and comforting and something warm and hazy at the back of his mind had almost felt like a memory. He'd indulged himself for too long though and Elena had woken, catching him beside her. He had played the only card he'd had up his sleeve and feigned ignorance, acting like he had confused her with Katherine again. It had worked on the naïve young woman; though Damon was certain he wouldn't be able to play the same trick twice. He would have to be cunning if he wanted to spend more time with his brother's girl.

On the other side of town, Elena stepped out of her car and took a slow walk up to the front door of her best friend's house. She and Bonnie hadn't spent as much time together since the Salvatore brothers had turned up in Mystic Falls, especially since Elena had grown closer to Damon over the summer. Whatever was going on with Bonnie and Jeremy hadn't helped much either. Jeremy's inability to let go of Anna had led to a rift between him and Bonnie and neither seemed able to fix it. Her brother could be such an idiot sometimes; he always seemed to be pulled towards the wrong girls. Though Elena was hardly one to talk.

She stood with her hand raised to knock on the door, but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. "Are you planning on standing there all day?" She jumped as she heard Bonnie from behind her and turned to find her best friend standing with her arms crossed over her chest. She was instantly on the defensive.  
"Bonnie, hey. I need your help."  
"I figured as much." The other girl brushed past her to put her key in the front door. "Remember the days when you'd come over on a Saturday morning to go shopping or just to hang out?" She sounded more remorseful than angry. Elena really wished that she could suggest they get in her car and go to the mall, or go pick up Caroline and drive in to the city to make a day of it; but Damon needed her help first.  
"I'm sorry Bonnie, but Damon's in trouble."  
"When isn't he?" She huffed, but stepped aside to let Elena inside the house. "What's going on?"

Elena followed her in to the kitchen and explained what had happened the night before as Bonnie fetched a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge and poured them both a glass. "So we think it might be something magical." She finished and was glad to see Bonnie at least looked like she had been paying attention.  
"So why did he take off in the first place?" Elena felt her throat closing up as she thought about the night Damon had left town. She didn't want to think about it, and part of her wished she could forget, just like Damon had.  
"We fought." She answered and her voice was barely above a whisper.  
"That's new." Bonnie quipped, though she lost her smile as she took in her best friend's serious expression. "Elena? What happened?"

"We just fought is all." Elena tucked her hair behind her ear self-consciously as she avoided her friend's scrutinizing gaze. "It's not important. We need to find out what happened to Damon when he left. We need to get his memory back-"  
"Why?" Bonnie interrupted. "I mean, from what you've said, Damon not remembering has to be a good thing. He has the mind of a human-"  
"And the body of a vampire." Elena scorned. "He doesn't remember how to control himself. He freaked out when he fed and he's pretty on edge right now Bonnie… he's more dangerous like this."  
"Fine, I'll see what I can do. If he's under some kind of spell then I should be able to pick up on it."  
"Thanks Bonnie, I owe you one. And I promise, we'll do something once things settle down. We'll have a girl's night in; me, you and Care."  
"With Ric and Jeremy?" Bonnie shot back, though she wore the hint of a smile.  
"I'll send them over to Ric's with the PlayStation."  
"I'll bring the ice cream."  
"Sounds great." Elena smiled. It had been a long time since they had made plans to spend time together for something that had nothing to do with vampires, magic, or ancient curses. "We just need to sort Damon out first."

"Easier said than done." Bonnie rolled her eyes. She was far from Damon's number one fan.  
"Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? I'll invite Stefan and Damon over and you can see what you can do for Damon. I'll invite Caroline too." She added hastily, not wanting Bonnie to feel like she was being saddled in to coming over for dinner with Elena and her brother; though Elena had decided on dinner to try and get Bonnie and Jeremy in the same room for a while. She'd been a little unnerved at finding out about her brother and one of her best friends, but she'd seen the positive effect Bonnie had had on Jeremy and he really needed someone steady in his life; someone alive.  
"Fine, I'll bring dessert. Key lime pie ok?"  
"Jeremy's favourite."  
"Do not make me curse you!"  
"See you at seven."

* * *

"Jer, are you getting ready? Everybody will be here soon." Elena scowled as she found her brother spread over the couch, wearing the same faded t-shirt he'd been in all day, with his Xbox controller in his hand.  
"I am ready." He barely glanced from the screen as Elena hovered in front of the living room mirror putting a pair of small gold hoops in her ear. "It's only Damon and Stefan." He scoffed at her, rolling his eyes at the way she was preening herself.  
"And Caroline and Tyler…and Bonnie."  
"What?" He snapped at her as he tossed the games controller aside. "You didn't say Bonnie was coming."  
"She's coming to see if she can help Damon-" Elena began, but as she turned from the mirror she found herself alone in the living room. Jeremy had shot upstairs to shower and change.

"What's got up him?" Alaric quizzed as he walked in to the living room, already carrying an open beer.  
"I didn't mention Bonnie was coming earlier, just in case he tried to flake out. I don't think he's spoken to Anna for a bit and I know Bonnie misses him." She shrugged, hoping she was doing the right thing in trying to push Bonnie and her brother back together.  
"Speaking of flaking out, do you really want your high school history teacher at your dinner party?"  
"Yeah, you're not getting out of this that easily. You're Damon's friend and right now he needs to be surrounded by the people he knows; besides, I've been slaving over a hot stove all day."  
"Ok, ok." Ric held up his hands in mock surrender. He was saved by the bell as the doorbell rang out and Elena went to go answer it.

She opened the door and was greeted by a smiling Damon as he offered her a low sweeping bow. "Miss Elena." Stefan stood beside him, his expression as stoic as ever.  
"Elena."  
"Damon, Stefan, come in." She stepped aside and ushered them in to the house, playing the part of the good hostess. She followed them in to the living room and was glad to find Alaric offering them a drink. Stefan took a beer and Damon was helping himself to some of Ric's decent bourbon. She left them to it as she went in to the kitchen to check on dinner.  
"So, how you doing buddy? Remembering anything yet?" Ric tried to engage Damon in conversation, but the oldest Salvatore was too interested in seeking out their host.  
"Excuse me a moment, Alaric." He slipped past Ric and made his way in to the kitchen, watched closely by his younger brother. "May I help?" Elena jumped as he slipped silently in to the room with her.

She quickly regained her composure and shook her head with a smile. "I'm fine thanks. How have you been? Remembered anything yet?" It was Damon's turn to shake his head. "Well, Bonnie's coming over to take a look at you. She's a witch, so hopefully she'll figure out what's going on."  
"We can only hope." He sipped at his bourbon as he watched her fussing over something bubbling away in a pan. He had been surprised by her lack of reaction at seeing his brother and was beginning to wonder whether he'd gotten it wrong about them being an item. He was trying to think of a tactful way to bring up the subject without causing offence. "Can I help you with anything?"  
"Uh, sure. Can you chop those for me?" She nodded towards some onions on the chopping board and he made his way over to them. He sat his glass down on the bench as Elena handed him a knife.

He stared at the blade with mixed emotions. He felt apprehensive and excited at the same time, like some distant memories were trying to resurface. "Damon, you ok?" Elena probed, worried by his troubled expression.  
"Fine." The lie left his mouth as smoothly as silk and he began chopping the vegetables as she'd asked. He added them to the boiling pan as Elena pulled out the steaks from the fridge. Damon's nostrils flared at the smell of the blood, but he did his best to supress it, breathing through his mouth.

"I'm surprised you know how to cook, I thought you had servants for that." Elena teased as he took over tenderising the meat for her. She had been brutalising the meat rather than preparing it.  
"We had plenty of servants. My father was very wealthy. Still my mother liked to cook. As a boy I spent much time with her…that is, until Stefan was born." He fell silent and clearly didn't want to talk about it, but it was perhaps the most he had ever told her about his mother and Elena found herself wanting to hear more.  
"How did your mom…" She faltered before she could ask how Damon's mother had died. She knew from experience how painful it could be to dwell on a parent's death. So instead she simply said, "Me and my mom were real close too." Damon nodded at her with a stiff smile and it was clear that sharing time was over. "Why don't you go join the others? I'm almost done in here."

"I'd rather stay here. With you." He looked down at her with that kicked puppy look and she gave in, as she always did.  
"Fine, make yourself useful and set the table." She went to hand him the cutlery but he caught her wrist in his hand.  
"Damon!" She snapped, glaring at him as she tried to pull free. She was getting pretty sick of the Salvatore brothers putting their hands on her.  
"I'm sorry, Elena." He let go of her and took a respectful step back. "It's just…if your witch can't help me…I don't want to go back to that house with Stefan. I want to stay here, with you. I feel safe here."

"Damon, I-" She started to object but was saved by the front door bell. "I need to get that." She slipped passed him and made her way to the front door. She almost sighed with relief as she found Bonnie, Caroline and Tyler on the porch. "God, am I glad to see you!" She pulled Bonnie in for a hug before extending it to Caroline.  
"Bonnie clued us in about Damon. Is it true? Has he really forgotten everything?" Caroline quizzed, as eager for gossip as ever.  
"All but my manners." The Salvatore in question announced, making Caroline jump as he appeared in the hallway. He wore his usual dark attire and a predatory grin and to the blonde he looked like the same old Damon; out to make trouble. When Bonnie had told her what had happened, she'd made the same assumption Stefan had; he was faking it.

He surprised her though as he offered them a bow. "I apologise if we're acquainted, but whom might you be?" Caroline had to supress a giggle as he took her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it. Beside her Tyler bristled.  
"Yeah, you've been _acquainted._" He muttered under his breath, though every vampire in the house clearly heard them. Elena looked just as annoyed as Caroline by the younger man's words and Damon flashed the attractive blonde another toothy smile as filed his newfound knowledge away future reference.

"Why don't you guys follow Damon in to the living room, Ric can fix you some drinks and dinner won't be long." Elena's voice was as strained as her smile as she tried to usher her guests in to the other room.  
"I still need to set the table." Damon objected with an innocent smile, aware Elena was trying to avoid his earlier request.  
"Don't worry about it Damon. I'll do it. You go with Bonnie. We need to get this mess sorted out. Tonight."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So it's 2am, I've got the day off work tomorrow and I'm waiting to watch the newest episode of TVD online, so I thought I'd finish and post the next chapter. Once again thanks for reading and for the feedback.**

Dinner went without a hitch and even the brothers seemed to be on their best behaviour; though Elena kept a wary eye on Damon as he pushed his food around his plate. He didn't seem to be eating much and he'd barely said two words all night. She knew he couldn't remember the other people around the table with him, but she had never known him to be the shy and retiring type. He sat opposite Elena, between Ric and Jeremy, silently observing the others with a sense of detachment. "Who's ready for dessert?" She piped up, catching Damon's eye as she began clearing the plates. He instantly got to his feet to help her. Stephan went to get up too, but Damon put a hand on his shoulder as he took his plate from him.  
"I've got it brother." A smile finally graced his lips as he followed Elena in to the kitchen with most of the plates. He deposited them in the sink and his grin widened as he turned the tap to let off a stream of water. Elena couldn't help but smile as he played with the tap like it was a favourite toy.

"Are you ok?" She quizzed as she pulled out the pie Bonnie had brought with her and began slicing it and dividing it between bowls.  
"A little overwhelmed." Damon shrugged, trying to brush off her concern. In truth he was less than impressed with the strangers who called themselves his friends. Bonnie the witch had been short and sharp with him, as though she detested the very sight of him, the blonde and the young man with her had spent the entire dinner chopping between bickering with each other and making gooey eyes. Elena's brother had been sullen and brooding and Damon was certain it had something to do with the witch. He felt an affinity for the younger man. He'd felt pretty sullen himself as he'd watched Stefan stealing glances at their host. He could at least take some mirth from knowing that every time Stefan had been looking at Elena, she had been looking at Damon.

"Well after this we'll get Bonnie to- Ow!" The teenage girl cursed as her hand slipped and the knife she'd been using on the pie sliced in to her finger. Damon could smell the blood before it had even welled to the surface and in a blur of motion he was standing in front of Elena, his body pinning her to the bench as he took hold of her wrist. "Damon…" She gasped and held her breath as his eyes narrowed on the blood. He had little control over his vampire instincts and Elena had no idea what he would do when faced with fresh blood. Her free hand slowly inched towards the knife she had dropped on the bench. Her fingers closed around the wooden handle just as Damon dipped his head to her hand.

His lips were soft and warm against her flesh as he took her finger in to his mouth. His eyes closed as his tongue lapped at the wound and Elena let out a different gasp all together. As he pulled away, Damon savoured the taste of the girl on his lips and the blood stirred something deep within him. He'd tasted her before, though he had no memory of it he was certain he had; it was like muscle memory, her taste etched in to his very being. "Damon…" She started again, her voice husky and her mind scattered.

"Everything ok in here?" Stefan stood at the kitchen door with his arms folded across his chest and a glare on his face.  
"Just a little accident, brother." Damon took a step back from Elena, letting her hand drop from his. "Nothing to be concerned about."  
"I just cut my finger. We're fine." Elena managed a shaky smile as she shoved two of the bowls of dessert in Damon's hands. Stefan stepped forward to help her with the rest and they returned to the dining room with the others.

Damon seemed a lot perkier during dessert and made an effort to talk to Alaric. Even Jeremy managed to pull himself out of his sulk as he complimented Bonnie on her pie. The only one left at the table with a glum expression was Stefan. When it came to clearing the dessert bowls away Stefan got up to help before Damon got the chance and Elena was fairly certain she was in for a lecture as she followed him in to the kitchen. Sure enough, as he put the bowls down he let out a heavy sigh. "Elena, you should be careful around Damon-"  
"Stefan, please…Damon might not remember, but my memory is just fine. I know how dangerous Damon can be." She cut him off before he could launch right in to his speech. He nodded at her, but he had a face like he was chewing a wasp.  
"It's not just that he's dangerous, Elena. He might not _remember _what he is, but even before he was turned my brother was calculating. He was no innocent victim in 1864, he knew what Katherine was and what she planned to do…He's playing you with his little lost boy act, and you're buying it."  
"Damon's my friend!" Elena snapped at him, tired of having to explain her actions to her ex-lover. She understood that as Stefan's humanity had slowly returned his feelings for her had too, but too much had happened between them for her to just let bygones be bygones. "And the only _vampire_ I've had to worry about lately is _you!_" She slammed the bowls she was holding down on the kitchen counter and stalked off.

She found the others in the living room sitting around Bonnie and Damon who were on the couch. Bonnie was holding Damon's hands in her own, with her eyes closed and her jaw set. She opened her eyes as Elena walked in and released Damon's hands. "There's definitely some sort of magic going on with his memory loss, but without knowing the spell that was cast I won't be able to break it."  
"How are we supposed to figure out the spell? He was gone for three days, he could have been anywhere!" Elena sighed and ran a hand through her loose hair, tucking it behind her ear; she had naively hoped that her friend would be able to offer a quick fix. Nothing ever ran smoothly where the Salvatore brothers were concerned.  
"I can check my grimoire, but it'd be quicker if we could find the witch who did this to him."  
"He knows a witch in Georgia, maybe he asked her to make him forget?"

"Why would he do that?" Stefan quizzed, his gaze lingering on Elena. "Damon's done a lot of terrible things in his life, why would he choose now to forget them?" The youngest Salvatore was staring straight through her, as though he knew why Damon had left. Elena felt her cheeks reddening as she thought of the argument between her and Damon that had sent him fleeing from Mystic Falls.  
"I am standing right here." Damon scowled, not missing the silent exchange between his brother and Elena. "It's my memory that is affected, not my hearing."  
"How convenient that you've only forgotten what you've done as a vampire, Damon." Stefan was still sceptical about his brother's supposed amnesia and Elena had had enough.  
"And who was responsible for him transitioning in the first place?" She snapped and in an instant the air seemed to leave the room. Damon's eyes narrowed on his younger brother as Stefan dropped his gaze; guilt written all over his face. "Katherine." Elena recovered quickly, trying to avoid Damon finding out what Stefan had done to him. Their relationship was strained enough without adding that to it.

"Perhaps we should seek her out?" Damon suggested, and while part of him wanted to find some answers and fill in the gaps in his memory, another part of him simply wanted to see his former lover and sire.  
"No. I'll get in touch with her." Stefan was trying to broker peace, but Damon took his words the wrong way.  
"Oh, of course brother, you run off to Katherine. She does favour _you _after all." He glared at him out of spite and Elena felt the tension returning. Tyler and Caroline subtly shifted, ready to spring in to action in case anything kicked off between the brothers.  
"The witch from Georgia owns a bar, she's called Bree. Why don't you try to find her?" Elena suggested, hoping to keep the brothers apart for a little while until they both cooled down.

"A bar in Georgia? That's it? It's not a lot to go on." The youngest Salvatore didn't seem too impressed with the lead, but it was all they had to go on and Bree was the only witch Damon had mentioned.  
"Sorry, but I was unconscious for half of that particular road trip." Damon had saved her life that night when a vampire had caused her to total her car and she'd woken up in his car, somewhere in the middle of Georgia. On the way back she'd been nursing a raging hangover and hadn't taken much notice of the scenery. "She was friends with Lexy…" Elena shot Stefan a meaningful look as Damon struggled to keep up with the conversation. He had no idea who Lexy or Bree were, though he was quite happy for Stefan to go off to Georgia.  
"I might know the bar you're talking about." Stefan sighed, though he was reluctant to leave. "I'll leave in the morning."  
"Have a nice trip." The older Salvatore smirked as he stood behind Elena, smugly staring his brother down.

"Stefan, would you mind driving me home, please?" Bonnie stepped up to diffuse the situation as Stefan took a menacing step forwards. He looked from Bonnie to his brother before nodding curtly.  
"Of course."  
"I'll catch you up, Alaric and I have a fine bottle of single malt to finish off." Damon picked up his glass to make a point, though Elena had a feeling he was going to push to stay with her again. Stefan didn't bother arguing, grabbing his jacket he said his goodbyes before walking out the front door to start the car. Bonnie pulled Elena in for hug before following him out.  
"Be careful." Her gaze lingered on Damon before she followed Stefan out the front door. Caroline and Tyler followed suit and Jeremy excused himself to his room, leaving Elena in the living room with Ric and Damon. She took Damon's tumbler from out of his hand and helped herself to a big gulp of his bourbon. The alcohol burned her throat as it made its way down, but she still took another drink before she handed it back to him.

"It's been a long day, I'm going to bed. Damon, if you're staying over you can have the couch, ok?"  
"I would be most grateful to spend the night; and thank you for a wonderful meal and a lovely evening, Elena." Damon's smile was almost predatory as he leant in close to kiss her cheek and whispered. "You were by far the best course." The teenager was too tired to chastise him so she simply rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. Besides, the suggestive comment was something that the Damon she knew would have said and it was a little comforting to know that part of him was still in there.  
"Goodnight, Damon. Ric." She left them to their drinking and went upstairs to climb in to bed. Damon watched her go and turned his attention back to Ric once she was out of sight.

"So you are Elena's guardian?" Damon asked, trying to make small talk with the man who Elena had informed him was his best friend.  
"Yeah, I sort of am." Ric shrugged as he topped up his glass. "When her aunt died and Stefan left she needed-"  
"Stefan left her?" Damon latched on to his words as his eyes grew wide with interest. Alaric faltered, realising too late that he had said the absolute wrong thing.  
"He left town for a while. He did it to save your life."  
"Then he's a bigger fool than I thought." Damon grinned as he sipped at his drink, his gaze absently making its way towards the stairs. His brother had left Elena; no matter what his reasoning had been, the end result was the same. Elena was angry with him and bitter, that much was clear for anyone to see, and Damon could use that to his advantage. If Elena wasn't his brother's, then she was fair game.

* * *

Some time in the night Elena stirred in her bed. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the dark she noticed a figure sitting by her window. Damon sat with his head leaning against the cold glass, his eyes half closed as he stared at something beyond the window pane. For just a second Elena forgot that anything had changed; for a moment he was still the Damon she knew. The man she cared for and loathed in almost equal measures. Then he turned his head and caught her gaze, a bashful smile crossed his lips as he dropped his eyes away from her. She'd worn a vest to bed and his eyes had lingered on her tanned skin for a second too long. "Apologies, I could not sleep."  
"It's ok. I'm used to waking up and finding you in here." Elena pulled the blankets closer to her to fight off the chilly night air. As a small smirk crossed Damon's lips she realised how her words could be taken out of context. "Not like that, you just..." She faltered, not really sure why he let himself in to her room so often. She had always presumed it had been to annoy her, as that was her usual reaction to finding the oldest Salvatore in bed with her. Perhaps he had just wanted to be close to her. How many nights had he spent watching her sleep without her knowing? The thought was both creepy yet endearing at the same time and Elena wasn't sure how to react to his presence.

Her feelings for Damon had never exactly been clear cut, and since the summer their relationship had grown even more tangled. He'd played the part of friend and guardian, confidant and provider. Yet he'd never had a chance at the role he craved the most; lover. Elena blushed as she thought of how many times they had shared a bed, not that anything had ever happened. "It feels right, amidst all of the chaos in my mind, the fear and the confusion…being by your side feels right." He spoke with conviction, his gaze burning in to Elena's. She swallowed as she dropped her eyes to avoid looking at him.  
"Damon, I care about you, I do, just…not in that way-" She started, but he cut her off as he rose to his feet. His face fell in to shadow as he stepped away from the window and towards her bed. She felt her pulse quickening as the blood rushed from her cheeks to somewhere else and she was sure he would notice her heart was slamming against her chest as he knelt beside her bed.

His expression was far from lustful or sultry though. "Why do I believe we've had this conversation before?" He quizzed, his voice tinged with sadness.  
"Because we've have." Elena admitted. She hated to twist the knife in when he was already so low, but she needed him to understand the boundaries of their friendship. Of course it had been easier to reject Damon when he was himself, he usually did something to push her away long before Elena had to push first; but this Damon, the pitiful creature staring up at her with such sorrowful eyes, was harder to deny. He nodded to himself, as though their brief conversation had helped him make up his mind.  
"Then we shall have it again." He picked up her hand and brought the back of it up to his lips. "And again. Until I can prove myself to you, Elena." He got to his feet and actually offered her a small bow before leaving. Elena stared after him, unable to process what had just happened between them.

She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to figure out what to do for the best. Damon had never exactly hidden his attraction to her, but he had never been so direct either. His usual style was jealous brooding, scathing sarcasm and stolen kisses; not grand romantic statements by moonlight. She let out a sigh, unable to get back to sleep. She couldn't deny she was attracted to the oldest Salvatore brother, and if she was being honest then maybe there had always been some small feelings there too, but she felt something stirring in her in response to this new Damon and that terrified her; because it wasn't real. Damon's newfound tenderness and humanity were ghosts of a distant past. Once his memories were returned to him he would go back to being his normal self. Elena couldn't allow herself to get too attached to this new Damon; though that was easier said than done.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So once again it's the early hours of Friday morning and I'm waiting to watch the newest ep of TVD, so I thought I'd get a chapter up while I wait. Thanks again to everyone who's reading and for the reviews :)**

**  
**  
"Elena? Elena?" The teen jumped as she heard someone whispering her name. Her eyes snapped open and it took a few long moments for them to adjust to the darkness that enveloped her room. She found Damon sitting on the edge of her bed and relaxed back against the pillows as she ran a hand through her hair.  
"Damon…" She sighed, groggy from only having a few hours of sleep. It seemed like she'd only just closed her eyes after Damon's last visit to her room. "What's wrong?"  
"I'm hungry." His words had her on edge again as she sat up, all traces of sleep gone from her face. "I didn't know what to do." He sat there in only a pair of pyjama bottoms that he'd borrowed from Ric, his eyes wide and dark. He hadn't fed since the day before, even though he'd gorged on the blood in the basement of the boarding house, he felt like he was starving. His stomach was churning and he had spent an hour restlessly pacing the living room trying to ignore it. He'd eventually given in and gone upstairs to Elena's room. She had been nothing but nice to him since she'd found him in the middle of the road and he felt safe around her, but with the hunger raging inside of him he wasn't so sure that Elena was safe around him. She was his first point of call when he needed help though, so he had given in and gone to seek her out.

"Um, ok…uh…" Elena faltered, not sure how to help him. They didn't have any blood in the house, unless she counted the eights pints that she, Ric and Jeremy had in them. She wasn't took keen on volunteering to be his breakfast. Damon had fed from her before, and it hadn't been pleasant. He had deliberately set out to hurt her back then though, and she knew from Stefan feeding on her that the process didn't need to be nearly as painful; but Damon hadn't had fresh blood from the vein since he'd lost his memory, so she wasn't sure if he was even capable of being gentle, _or _restraining himself. Elena couldn't afford to have him take too much from her. "We could drive to the boarding house-"  
"Please, Elena! I'm _so _hungry…" His eyes had gone totally black and a series of thin dark veins had appeared on his cheeks below them. He was losing it fast.

She let out a heavy sigh as she opened the drawer beside her bed and dug around in it until she pulled out a vervain dart. She'd kept one close by ever since Stefan had gone rogue on her and it would come in handy if Damon got out of hand. "Ok, just for tonight though. Tomorrow you have to drink from the bags!" Damon wrinkled his nose at the thought of the blood bags, but his expression smoothed over as Elena held out her arm for him. He took her bare arm in his hands, holding it firmly but not hard enough to hurt her, as he brought it up to his lips. He pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist before his fangs descended and he sunk them in to her flesh. She bit back a cry at the initial piercing of the skin, but other than that there was little pain. He fed slowly and carefully, trying his best not to hurt her.

Elena appreciated the care he was taking. He had the mentality of a baby vampire and he was starving, it wouldn't have been easy for him to show so much self-control. She kept her fingers wrapped around the vervain tranquiliser just in case though. After a few minutes she began to feel light headed.  
"That's enough…Damon, I said that's enough!" For a second she thought she would have to use the vervain, but Damon finally pulled away from her. He was panting as his tongue licked his lips, savouring every last drop of her intoxicating blood. He had wanted to keep going, to take it all, but Elena's pleading voice had broken through the haze that had settled over his brain and he'd been able to let go of her.  
"Thank you." He mumbled, not sure what else to say as he lay down on his side beside the teenager. Elena's eyes were already closing over, exhaustion and blood loss combining to pull her unconscious.  
"You're welcome." She muttered back, her hand still clenching the vervain dart as her head found her pillow. Damon went to lay down beside her, but she shook her head, still just alert enough to realise how dangerous it could be to fall asleep beside the vampire when her blood was coursing through his system. "You need to sleep on the couch, Damon."

His expression was stiff as he nodded at her, pushing himself off the bed. "As you wish. Goodnight, Miss Elena."

"Elena, are you ok? You look exhausted." Caroline fussed as Elena slumped down in her chair. She'd barely slept over the weekend, between Damon's little visits to her room and babysitting the confused vampire untill he'd fianally returned to the boarding house late Sunday night to feed. By last period her lack of sleep had caught up to her. She could barely keep her eyes open as Ric walked in to the classroom and began writing his lesson plan up on the board.  
"Long night." She mumbled back, struggling to listen to Ric as he picked up where they had left off from the last lesson. They were talking about the local effect of the American Civil War, and of course that just made her thoughts return to Damon. He had been gone when she'd woken up in the morning. She hoped he'd gone back to the boarding house and wasn't wandering around the town. The last thing they needed was for him to be run over or something in broad daylight. Stefan hadn't shown up for class so she presumed he'd left for Georgia on Sunday; or maybe he'd gone straight from her house on Saturday night. He cared about his brother, as much as they bickered, and if he believed the amnesia was real he would have set off in search of Bree straight away.

Despite usually enjoying Alaric's class, the last lesson of the day dragged painfully slow and Elena was more than ready to jump out of her seat when the final bell went. "Hey Elena, I have a teacher's meeting until four, do you want wait around or make your own way home?" She'd caught a ride to school with Ric and Jeremy so she didn't have her own car to get back.  
"I'd offer you a ride, but I'm going to Tyler's." Caroline apologised as they gathered up their things to leave.  
"I've got to hit the library for that Chem test on Thursday." Bonnie added, which meant Elena would be getting the bus home or walking. It was a mild day for mid-October and she didn't mind the prospect of walking home. It would help to wake her up. She intended to find Jeremy, but as she left the school through the main door she caught sight of Damon leaning casually against the trunk of a thick tree.

He looked like he had raided his wardrobe for clothes that were familiar to him. He was wearing black slacks and a starched white shirt under a black waistcoat. He actually had a pocket watch on a chain tucked in to one of the pockets of his waistcoat. The corners of his mouth lifted in to a smile as he caught sight of Elena and he stepped forward to take her book bag from her. She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear as he fussed over taking the heavy bag from her and they fell in to step together. "What are you doing here, Damon?" It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see him, but she was surprised he had found his way to her school to meet her. He barely knew the way to the boarding house.  
"I found myself at a loss this afternoon and I thought to seek you out." He offered her a broad smile and there was none of the usual sarcasm that she had come to expect from the oldest Salvatore brother. He seemed genuinely happy to see her and Elena felt oddly content to have him around. She had been worrying about him all day and at least if he was with her he was generally safe. She didn't have to worry about him taking off his daylight ring or walking in to the path of a bus.

"How did you find the school?"  
"I followed your scent." Damon replied, as though it should have been obvious. Elena looked momentarily alarmed by the idea that she smelled and he laughed, the mirth reaching his pale eyes. "You don't smell, Elena. Everyone has a scent; yours seems easier for me to pick up since I've fed from you." He shrugged as though he wasn't sure if he was right or not, he was learning how to be a vampire again as he went along. Not for the first time Elena found herself wondering how Damon had fared as a young vampire without his sire around to teach him. Had he learnt by trial and error? Or had he found a mentor like Stefan had with Lexy? Whatever he had done seemed to have work, since he hadn't become a ripper or a slave to his cravings like Stefan had.

"Are you feeding ok?" She didn't particularly want to linger on thoughts of Damon feeding, but with Stefan away he needed someone looking out for him. He shrugged again, unable to meet her eye. She'd fed him in the early hours of Sunday morning on the understanding that it would be a onetime thing and he'd carry on feeding from the blood bags in the boarding house.  
"The bagged blood does not agree with me." He had suffered something of a breakdown when he'd first had the bagged blood on the Friday evening and he'd fed a little from her the previous night, but other than that he hadn't fed. Elena frowned, not happy that he was being so irresponsible when it came to feeding. If he was hungry he could be dangerous.  
"Damon! You need to feed!" She hissed at him in a whisper, so as not to be overheard by the students milling past them.  
"I can't!" He objected, keeping his own voice low. His eyes softened as they bore in to Elena and his hand cupped her cheek. "The cold blood turns my stomach and its flavour is bland in comparison to the sweet red nectar that flows from-"  
"Ok! Ok!" Elena pulled away from his touch as she noticed people were starting to look at them. "You can feed from me, but only once more. You have to get used to feeding from the blood bags! I can't keep feeding you on a daily basis." Damon nodded at her, but his eyes were fixed on her throat and she knew he wasn't really listening. She took his hand to get his full attention. "Come on, we'll go to my house." It was closer than the boarding house and they would need somewhere private for Damon to feed. She also had her vervain conveniently hidden in her bedroom drawer.

Luckily when Elena arrived home she found the house empty. With Alaric at his meeting and Jeremy not home, they had the house to themselves. Damon was on her the second the door closed, one of his strong hands brushing her hair aside so he could get to her neck. "Wait! Not here!" Elena chastised him as she pushed him away. She didn't want Jeremy walking in and catching them. She couldn't help but think of the times she and Matt had fooled around after school when her parents had been at work; but fooling around was the last thing on her mind as she led the vampire up to her room. She locked her door just in case and ushered Damon over to sit on her bed as she made her way in to the bathroom and pulled off her sweater. She stared at herself in the mirror as she took a steadying breath and tied her hair up with a band sitting on the side of the sink. She'd worn a long sleeve sweater to school to hide the bite mark on her wrist, which was healing but slowly. She still had two angry red welts where his fangs had sunk in to her.

With her hair up she quickly splashed her face with some water before she made her way back in to her room. Damon was waiting for her. He was trying to remain patient, but his hunger was starting to get the better of him; he couldn't take his eyes away from her neck. She pulled out the vervain dart from her drawer and took a seat beside him on her bed. She craned her neck to the side, instructing him to feed from her collarbone so she could hide it under a T-shirt. "Not too much." She warned, already feeling worn out from his previous feed. He nodded again, but his eyes were already glazed over with lust and Elena had to hold up her hand to stop him as they blackened and his fangs descended. "I mean it, Damon! You've got to be careful-"  
"Elena." He took her hand and brought it to his lips, careful not to nick her with his razor sharp fangs. "I would rather starve then hurt you. I will be careful, you have my word." He let go of her hand and she nodded, though she was still a little wary of offering her neck out to him. She kept a tight hold on the vervain in case she needed to use it on him.

Damon moved as slowly as he could, so as not to scare her. It was difficult, with his hunger building, but as his lips met her neck Elena was visibly more relaxed than she had been. She hissed and gripped his shoulders as his fangs sunk in to her flesh, though it was nowhere near as painful as the first time he had fed on her when he'd first arrived in Mystic Falls the previous year. The pain subsided as he began to feed and her free hand moved to the back of his head, her fingers running through his hair. Damon groaned against her neck and the noise went straight through her. She started to feel lightheaded and dizzy and asked him to stop. "Ok, that's it." He ignored her and carried on feeding. "Damon!" Her hand shot up, intending to use the vervain on him, but he knocked it away as he moved his own hand to the back of her head, pushing her further in to him.  
"That's enough!" She was panicking and did the only thing she could think of; she pulled his hair. He gave a frustrated yelp but pulled out of her. His eyes cleared as his fangs retracted and he stared at the human girl who had given part of herself up for him. He wanted more of her. Recognising that he was still out of it, Elena returned her fingers to running through his hair in an effort to soothe him. It wasn't her blood that he was longing for though and the action did nothing to relieve his desires.

He leant forward, closing the distant between them, and pressed his lips to hers. Elena gasped and he deepened the kiss. She braced her hands against his shoulders, intending to push him away, but his talented lips and probing tongue were too distracting and before she knew what was happening he was pushing her back down against her bed. Her arms ended up around his neck, pulling him in closer as his lips moved to her neck. "Elena, are you home?" She jumped as she heard the front door slam and Jeremy called out to her. She pushed Damon away, ignoring the frustrated growl that left his lips as he rolled over on to his back. She hastily unlocked her door and opened it to shout down to Jeremy.  
"Yeah, I'm home. I'm pretty beat, so I'm going to take a nap." She lied, hoping to discourage Jeremy from coming upstairs to talk to her. Her cheeks were flushed and the bite on her collarbone was clearly visible.  
"Ok. I'm going to the library, I'll see you later!" He called up and she heard the door open and slam shut again as he left. She sighed in relief at not being caught with Damon.

"That nap sounds good." Damon purred in her ear as he appeared behind her. His lips found her neck again as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Her eyes closed as he placed a soft trail of kisses along her throat and for a moment she was ready to give in to him; until she felt something firm pressing against the small of her back and two sharp points pressing down against her throat.  
"Damon…" Her voice came out huskier than she had intended and she had to clear her throat and start again. "Damon…stop. We can't-"  
"Why not?" He nipped at her neck, though his fangs had been safely tucked away. Her mind was too disorientated by his touch and she was too tired to formulate a rational argument, so she had to settle for whining.  
"Damon, please…" He heard the desperation and sheer exhaustion in her voice and with one final kiss to her cheek he relented and took a step back. "I'm really tired." The words had barely left her lips when Damon scooped her up and dashed her over to her bed in the blink of an eye. She couldn't help but let out a giggle as he placed her on top of the covers. He lay down beside her, his strong arms wrapping around her. She should have felt guilty about kissing him back and she should have asked him to leave, but as she cuddled in to his side and lay her head on his chest she was already half asleep. She felt a soft kiss being pressed against her lips, just as her searching hand found what she was looking for on the bed. Damon tried to deepen the kiss again, picking up where they'd left off, but she slammed the vervain dart down in to his arm. His eyes widened and he let out a pained gasp, but the herb quickly made its way through his system and he slumped beside her as he passed out. It wasn't long before Elena followed suit, safe in the knowledge that the vampire was subdued. Though she wasn't looking forward to facing him when he woke up.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey." Elena greeted the waking vampire cautiously as she sat a glass of water down on her nightstand and waited for Damon to come around properly. He groaned as he rolled on to his back.  
"What happened?" He grunted, feeling like he'd been run over by a stampede of elephants. He remembered feeding from her and then laying down with her, and then a sharp sting in his arm; after that his mind was blank. It was dark outside, so he could only presume he'd been out for a few hours. He propped himself up and graciously picked up the glass of water that Elena had brought him.

"I used vervain on you…it's a kind of herb that vampires are allergic to." Elena stood by the bed, nervously wringing her hands together and waiting for him to explode at her. The anger never came though, which was another painful reminder that Damon was far from himself. If he had been himself, he would have been furious at her. He wouldn't have just sat there looking up at her like a wounded animal. His fury would have been easier to handle. "I knocked you out, Damon!" She found herself shouting at him, annoyed at having him just staring blankly at her. He looked more hurt than angry and she couldn't deal with that. An angry Damon was familiar ground; a hurt Damon never ended well.

"You were afraid of me?" He seemed to understand what she had done and why as he sat up properly on the edge of the bed and tried to take her hand. She pulled away from him, the memory of kissing him too fresh in her mind. He frowned at her, his temper finally making an appearance. "I would _never _hurt you Elena! Never!"  
"Damon I had to tear you away from me! You'd already taken too much blood and you weren't going to stop! I was terrified that I'd fall asleep and you'd take more!" He had the good grace to look ashamed as he hung his head. He had ignored her when she'd asked him to stop, but once he'd come to his senses he had done as she'd asked and he would never have attacked her whilst she was sleeping.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I swear it! I will not hurt you." He tried again to take her hand but she took a step back as she wrapped her arms around her chest and shook her head.  
"You say that Damon…but you always do."

Her words struck him like a physical blow and she wanted to take them back the second they had left her mouth, but it was too late. Damon's expression hardened and she watched him shut down in front of her. "If that's how you feel." His words were stiff and forced through clenched teeth as he tried to walk past her. He was still a little unsteady on his feet from the vervain.  
"Damon, no-"  
"No, Elena. You've made your position quite clear." He pushed past her. She knew better than to chase after the vampire when his pride was wounded, so she slumped on to her bed and sighed in to her hands. She heard the front door open and then slam shut. Elena fought a wave of nausea and lay back down on her bed as she picked up her cell phone. She dialled Bonnie's number and waited for her friend to pick up.

It rang for a few times before she answered and when she did she sounded distracted. "Hello?"  
"Hey Bonnie, it's Elena. Have you had any luck with coming up with another spell to help Damon."  
"Uh, no. Sorry. I've been looking, but nothing's stood out yet. I'll keep trying."  
"Thanks, Bonnie. I'll see you later."  
"See you."

"Was that Elena?" Bonnie put her phone away and turned back to the pile of books on her bedroom floor. Jeremy was sat among them, his legs crossed and a thick dusty old volume perched on his lap. They'd met up after school and had been going through every book Bonnie had on witchcraft and magic. They'd come up with a few leads for what might have happened to Damon, but nothing tangible enough to raise Elena's hopes.  
"Yeah." Bonnie sighed as she stretched before taking her place back on the floor and picking up the heavy leather journal she'd been reading through before Elena had called.  
"This Damon thing's really stressing her out." They hadn't spoken much all afternoon; things were still awkward after their breakup over Jeremy's secret conversations with his dead girlfriends and he was happy to try to and make some small talk.  
"Damon's been stressing her out since the second he walked in to town." Bonnie snapped. She wasn't really annoyed with either Gilbert, she was just frustrated by their lack of progress and taking it out on Jeremy.  
"Damon's an ass, but he really looked out for her this summer…what with Jenna and Stefan. He just helped her hold it together, you know?" He shrugged, not really wanting to get in to a fight about it. He and Bonnie had been fighting enough lately without finding new things to bicker about.

Bonnie wasn't quite so ready to drop the subject though. "By taking her to the zoo and throwing her a birthday party?" She rolled her eyes at the youngest Gilbert.  
"He's done a lot more than that-" Jeremy started to defend Damon but then cut himself off, realising he was about to say too much. Damon had sworn him to secrecy, even if he didn't remember it. Bonnie picked up on his hesitation and her eyes narrowed on him, making him squirm until he finally started talking again. "Ok, you can't tell anyone about this, especially Elena...Damon's been paying the bills. The house was paid for from mom and dad's life insurance, but there are utility bills and stuff and Ric couldn't afford to pay for his place and ours…So Damon's been paying for everything. Elena doesn't have a clue and he swore me to secrecy…"  
"Why didn't he tell her? I thought Damon loved finding ways to score points with Elena?"

Jeremy shrugged at her again, uncomfortable talking about the vampire's feelings for his sister. "I guess he thought Elena would be too proud to take any money from him. I'm the first person to admit Damon can be a dick sometimes, but he can be a pretty decent guy when he wants to be."  
"He's been a lot more _decent _since he forgot all about being a vampire…maybe this is for the best. Maybe Damon forgetting is actually a blessing in disguise?" Jeremy just shrugged his shoulders at her again, not wanting to draw out an argument; though he could see how forgetting all of the bad stuff that had happened to him could be a blessing for Damon. Given the option Jeremy would probably choose to forget a lot of stuff; particularly how stupid he'd been in pushing Bonnie away. She had asked for his help in researching something to help Damon, but she'd made sure to point out it was only because Caroline hated reading through the dusty old spell books and Elena had to babysit Damon.

Jeremy hadn't even been her second choice; or at least that's what Bonnie had told him. She was secretly happy to have a reason to see Jeremy. Things had been strained between them since their break up, and as mad as she was at the younger teen she couldn't ignore that she still had feelings for him. "Ugh! This is getting us nowhere! How about we go grab some dinner at the Grill and take a break?"  
"I'm in."

When they got to the Grill they found Caroline and Tyler were already there, so they sat with them and gave Matt their food order. He lingered by their table for a bit until someone started shouting from over by the bar. "Oi, boy! Another one of these!" Matt frowned as Klaus shouted at the top of his voice.  
"Why don't you just stop serving him?" Caroline scowled as Klaus caught her looking his way and smirked at her.  
"_You _try telling the drunk original vampire to leave. It was bad enough when Damon was in here the other night!" Matt huffed as he stuffed his order book back in to the pocket of his apron and sulked off to the bar.  
"Yeah, Damon was a real pain in the ass the other night." Jeremy nodded in agreement. "He came in here drunk as hell and tried to pick a fight with Klaus-"  
"When?" Bonnie quizzed.  
"The night he left town." Realisation dawned on Jeremy and he cursed as he looked over at Klaus, who was busy chewing Matt's ear about the Grill not having any decent whisky. "Do you think he could have had something to do with him losing his memory? Maybe he compelled him, like he did to Stefan?"

A tense silence settled over the group as all eyes turned to Caroline. "What?" She realised the others were staring at her and then put two and two together. "Oh, hell no! I am not going over there!"  
"Come on Care, he'll talk to you! Just ask if he compelled Damon and if he says yes, problem solved." Jeremy urged, hoping they had found a quick fix to sort Damon out so she wouldn't have to go back to pouring over ancient texts.  
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to-" Tyler started, but Caroline cut him off with a sigh as she pushed her chair back and got to her feet.  
"Fine! But Damon owes me one, Elena too!"

She walked over to the bar and took the empty seat beside the hybrid. He cocked his head to the side as he regarded her over the top of his glass. "Ah Caroline, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company? Have you and your little friends come up with another infallible plan to try and kill me? Have they sent you over to distract me?"  
"Hey, it's not like I'm live bait!" Caroline huffed, setting off on the wrong foot considering she needed something from him.  
"Oh no, you're just their whore." Klaus remarked cruelly as he sat his empty glass down on the bar and snapped at Matt to fill it. Matt did as he was told and left the bottle on the bar as he shot Caroline a puzzled look.  
"I am not!" Caroline hissed, her anger getting the better of her. Something about the millennia old vampire just rubbed her up the wrong way, even when he wasn't insulting her.  
"Apologies, my mistake. Whore's are paid-" He smirked as her hand connected with his cheek, the sound of the slap ringing out around the bar. Tyler's chair scraped against the floor as he got to his feet, but Jeremy clamped a hand around his wrist and pulled him back down. Klaus chuckled as he rubbed his cheek. "If anyone else had done that they'd be lying in pieces by now; but we all know I've got something of a soft spot for you, which of course is why your so called friends _use _you against me." He pushed his glass towards Caroline and picked up the whisky bottle instead. "Now, why don't we save some time and cut straight to the part where you tell me what you want?"

Caroline begrudgingly picked up the offered glass and downed the liquor inside; it would help keep her cravings in check as she seethed at the older vampire. He was right of course, but that didn't make Caroline any less furious. "Jeremy said that Damon was in here trying to pick a fight with you the other night, right before he left town and came back with no memory."  
"Is that right?" Klaus grinned as he topped up her glass again, trying to prolong their conversation. She rolled her eyes at him but drank anyway.  
"Yes, _that's right_. We thought you might have compelled him or something? So if you did, just undo it! Please…" She added hastily as the man's eyes darkened at being ordered about. They returned to normal again as he shook his head at her.  
"I'd be happy to luv…if I had the faintest clue what you were talking about. Damon came in here, drunk as a skunk and tried to goad me in to killing him. I snapped his neck, but I think he was looking for something a bit more permanent. So when he woke up he picked himself up and left."  
"Why would he do that?" Caroline frowned. If Damon had gone to Klaus to end his life then he must have been in a seriously bad place. Maybe he had _asked _for his memories to be taken away.  
"My money's on it involving a woman. There's always a woman."  
"You should go home, Klaus." Caroline sighed, something close to pity in her voice.  
"And you should be mine, but I doubt either of us is getting what we want tonight, Caroline. Why don't you run along back to your friends, hmm?"

"God! That man is a dick!" Caroline grumbled as she took her seat back at the table with the others and glared daggers at Klaus' turned back. She knew he'd be able to hear her, so she wasn't at all surprised when he turned and shot a wink towards her. She glared back all the more.  
"Yeah, but did he have anything to do with Damon?" Bonnie asked, hoping they were closer to finding out what had happened to the oldest Salvatore brother.  
"No, I don't think so." Caroline admitted, believing he had told her the truth. After all, he had no reason to lie to her. "But he did say that Damon came in here that night looking to get himself killed. Elena said they argued, but it must have been some major argument to push him to that extreme!"  
"Elena wasn't herself after that either. She was really quiet and grouchy all week, especially when Stefan tried to get her to help look for Damon."  
"Damon's always pissing her off." Tyler shrugged as he helped himself to one of Caroline's fries. She slapped his hand as she and Bonnie shared a look. They'd have to talk to Elena about what had happened that night.

The girl's went back to the Gilbert house with Jeremy and found Elena up in her room, lying on her bed and writing in her diary. She tucked it away under her pillow as they walked in and Bonnie closed the door behind them. "Ok, so what happened with you and Damon?"  
"The night he left town." Bonnie clarified and Elena sat up, wrapping her arms around herself as she shook her head.  
"We fought…we always fight."  
"Yeah, but Damon doesn't _always _go to Klaus and ask him to kill him-"  
"He did what?" Elena snapped. Damon had been in bits when he'd left her house and she'd made no attempt to stop him, but she had never imagined he would do something so drastic. "Did Klaus have something to do with him losing his memory? Did he compel him?"  
"No. We already thought of that. He said he snapped his neck and he left."  
"And you believe him? This _is _Klaus we're talking about!"  
"Exactly." Caroline snapped. "He would have just killed Damon, not wipe his memory! What the hell happened that night Elena?"

"I don't want to talk about it."  
"Elena, we're your friends, you can tell us anything!"  
"Caroline's right, whatever happened to make Damon want to _kill _himself must have been pretty bad-"  
"He tried to force himself on to me! Ok?" She shouted, sick of being browbeaten by her so-called friends. She felt her stomach churning again at just saying the words out loud. "He was drunk and we were arguing about Stefan and he…" tears streamed down her cheeks as she fought back a sob, struggling not to totally break down as she finally gave up the burden she'd been carrying for over a week.  
"Oh my god, Elena!" Caroline reached in to hug her and the human teenager completely lost it. She sobbed in to Caroline's shoulder as Bonnie embraced her too and the three of them sunk on to her bed as Elena poured her heart out to them about what had happened.

"He…he didn't…he didn't mean it." She hiccupped from crying so much as she tried to force the words out. "He was drunk and he caught Stefan over here. He'd come over to try and talk about getting back together and Damon just lost it…he didn't mean it…he didn't even _do _anything. I screamed for him to let go of me and he did…he didn't…you can't tell anyone!"  
"Shhh, it's ok. Everything's going to be ok." Caroline soothed as she pushed Elena's hair back away from her tear stained cheeks. Even as she sat there comforting her friend, she was considering what she would have to offer Klaus to have him actually kill Damon.

As if on cue her phone began to ring and she had to untangle herself from her best friends to answer it. "Hello?" She snapped and was greeted by the equally impatient voice of Matt. "Care, it's Matt. Klaus is still here and he's getting really drunk. I've asked him to leave but he ignored me, and I tried to get Rebecca to pick him up but apparently they're fighting again…could you please come and talk to him?"  
"Why, because I'm your whore?" Caroline scowled, sick of everyone using her to get what they wanted from Klaus.  
"Uh…no, because he'll probably listen to you. He hasn't shut up about you to Damon all night and-"  
"Damon's there?"  
"Yeah, he and Klaus are drinking us dry and they're scaring away the customers-"  
"I'll be right over!"

"What's going on?" Elena asked as she wiped at her cheeks, trying to look like she hadn't just been crying her eyes out.  
"Klaus is drunk at the Grill and Damon's with him."  
"Oh no." Elena sighed as she rolled her eyes, dreading what could be happening between the two vampires given that Damon had no idea who Klaus was. "See, this is why we need to fix him! Damon has enemies and he can't remember them. Anything could happen-"  
"With any luck Klaus might stake him before we get there." Caroline grumbled, earning a sharp look from her best friend.  
"Caroline! Damon is our friend!" Elena reprimanded her. Even after everything Damon had put her through, she was still defending him.  
"Oh please, Elena!" The blonde snorted in indignation. "Have you forgotten everything he's done to us? He _used_me when he first came to town, he killed Jeremy, he attacked you and, oh yeah, he turned your birth mother! If you weren't so in love with him you'd realised what a jerk he is-" She realised she'd stepped over the line as Elena's face hardened. She tried to apologise, but the other girl cut her off.

"No, I haven't forgotten what he's done to us, but you're not exactly _innocent _yourself Caroline. Damon's not the same guy he was when he first came here. I know none of you see it, but he _can_ be a good man."  
"Yeah, when he chooses to be." Bonnie muttered under her breath, but not quite quiet enough for Elena to miss it. She turned her scorn on to both of them as she pulled on her jacket.  
"Damon's made mistakes in the past, but he's my friend. I care about him and I don't just abandon my friends when they need my help!" She stormed out of her room, intent on confronting Klaus herself. The others chased after her, trying to stop her from doing anything stupid.

They took separate cars and Elena had calmed down a little as they arrived at the Grill. Caroline had rode with her and they'd come to a truce on the way over. Inside the Grill they found Klaus and Damon at the bar; but far from the brawl they were expecting, they found the two men in good spirits, sharing a bottle of single malt. "Elena!" Damon's eyes lit up as he spotted her walking over to him. He seemed to have forgotten that he was angry at her, along with everything else he'd forgotten. "Come meet my new friend Nicklaus!"  
"We're already acquainted." Klaus tipped his glass towards Elena as his eyes landed on Caroline and he grinned like a Cheshire cat. "I must say, I quite like this new Damon. Or should I say old Damon?" He laughed as he clinked his glass against the other vampire's.

"Damon, mate, this is the girl I was telling you about." He nodded towards Caroline and the blonde frowned at him.  
"Get your coat Klaus, you're going home!" She snapped at him, intending to call him a cab.  
"Looks like I've pulled!" He winked at Damon and slapped him on the back as he stood up and attempted to pull his jacket on. He wobbled on his feet, unsteady from spending most of the day drinking. Caroline cursed under her breath as she helped the big bad original vampire in to his coat.  
"I better drive him. We don't want him eating a cab driver, or you know, _sacrificing_them." She rolled her eyes as she slipped an arm around Klaus' waist and helped him towards the door.

"He seems nice." Damon watched them go with a bleary eyed smile. It wavered as he turned his attention to Elena and then dropped his gaze towards his half empty glass. He looked ashamed and uncertain again, nothing like the cocksure vampire Elena was used to seeing. "I'm sorry, Elena. I wish I could take back every bad thing I've ever done to you…I wish we could both forget and just start over…then you could trust me."  
"I can't just forget everything that's happened between us Damon." She sighed as she placed a hand over one of his, lacing their fingers together. "But I can forgive you."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So I think I need to do some damage control. First off I don't 'hate' Damon, if I did I sure as hell wouldn't be spending what little free time I have writing a fic centred around him and starting work on a second one, I have about five other stories on the go and this one is currently getting most of my attention over ones I've been invested in for over a year. Damon is by far my favourite character because he's probably one of the better developed ones on the show and that duality of his character makes him interesting to write. Secondly, I deliberately avoided using the R word for a reason as that's not what it was. I needed him to have done something bad enough to make him want to end it, but if he'd gone that far Elena would never have forgiven him. I included the flashbacks to hint at what had happened without just dropping it in there, but I couldn't fit the entire flashback in the last chapter as it wouldn't have flowed well with the rest of it. I apologise if anyone is offended but I hope people will just give this a chance to play out.  
**

"_You shouldn't have come here." Damon sat in the chair by the fire, staring at the roaring flames as he cradled his empty glass in both hands. He didn't need to turn around to know it was Elena walking in to the room. He'd recognised the purr of the engine of her SUV as she'd pulled up, had caught the scent of her perfume as she walked in the front door and he could practically feel the beat of her heart at the back of his throat. He was hungry and the damn beat, beat, beat of her heart was driving him half crazy; he'd already been pushed to the limits of his sanity after finding Stefan and Elena in mid-embrace when he'd turned up at her house earlier._

He'd saw it coming of course. Even after everything that he had done to her, Elena was still smitten with his baby brother. He'd abandoned her and Damon had stayed. He'd broken her and Damon had helped to put the pieces back together; but that didn't count for anything when Stefan was back in town. Damon felt hurt and he felt used. He was also afraid. Afraid of what would happen if Elena didn't turn right back around and go back the way she came.

"I came to check on you. You seemed pretty upset." She hovered by his chair, nervously waiting for him to look at her. He kept his eyes glued to the dancing flames of the fire.  
"How nice of you to tear yourself away from Stefan."  
"Damon, don't be like that-"  
"You should really leave, Elena. Now!" He finally snapped at her as he got to his feet, staring her down with cold dead eyes, as though he was looking right through her. Elena supressed a shudder as she was given a stark reminder of the man who had first arrived in Mystic Falls the year before. She didn't back down though. He was trying to push her away, just like he always did.

"I'm not afraid of you, Damon!" She held her head up high as she stared right back at him.  
"You should be. I'm the big bad brother, Elena, remember?"  
"Cut the crap, Damon. You're not bad, not anymore-"  
"No, because you saved me, Elena! You made me a good man…except I'm not a man. Not anymore." He narrowed his eyes at her, trying to frighten her in to leaving while he still had some semblance of control.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Elena sighed as she took a slow step towards him, as though she were approaching a wounded animal. "Why do you keep pushing everyone away every time you get close to showing your human side?"  
"Because… I. AM. A. VAMPIRE!" He roared and she finally took a wary step back. In a blur of motion Damon was standing right in front of her, and her chance to leave had come and gone. "I'm not a fucking house trained puppy like my brother! But you know that really, don't you Elena?"  
"Damon, please. Stefan and I were just-"

"_Oh, I know what you were 'just' doing. So, Saint Stefan's back and suddenly you're too good for the likes of me? Is that it Elena? Huh?" Damon was way past mad and his breath stunk of cheap bourbon as he growled in Elena's face. His usually handsome face was contorted with rage and the human teenager felt herself shrinking back away from him. It had been a long time since she had been afraid of Damon.  
"No, Damon! That's not fair! You know I…I care about you, and I appreciate that you've been there for me the last few months. I don't know what I'd do without you-"  
"Save it." He snapped at her as he picked up the crystal decanter sitting on his drinks cabinet, intending to pour himself another bourbon.  
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Elena's eyes narrowed on the glass in his hands and without warning it went flying across the room, smashing off the wall and breaking in to tiny shards. Damon heaved to catch his breath, though throwing the glass had taken none of his phenomenal strength; he was simply trying to keep his temper in check.  
"Yes, Elena. I've had enough…I've had more than enough of this…"_

"Damon…" She started, her fear finally getting the better of her as she started moving backwards towards the door. She'd taken less than two steps when his hand shot out and clamped around her throat. "Damon, stop! You don't want to do this!" She whimpered as he pulled her in close and used his free hand to yank her head to the side, exposing her throat to him.  
"Oh but I really do Elena. You can't imagine just how badly I want this…want you…I tried. I really did. I played nice and I tried to be the good little vampire you wanted…but it's just not me, Elena… I wish you could have met me when I was human…maybe I could have got you to love me back…"

"I did…I do." Elena choked and Damon loosened his grip. For a moment he considered that she was only saying what he wanted to hear, but he had waited so long to hear those words come from her lips that he didn't care about the reasons behind them. "Stefan came over to try and talk about getting back together, but I told him I couldn't. He's changed. He's not the person I fell in love with… he's not the first person I think of when everything starts falling apart. You are. That's why I came over here, Damon…but I guess you're not the man I thought you were either."

"No…no! I can be! I can be whoever you want me to be, Elena!" He let go of her neck and cradled her cheeks in his hands. "Just give me a chance!"  
"I've given you a hundred, Damon!" She tried to shake her head at him as tears rolled down his cheek, but he was holding her too tight.  
"No." The madness in his eyes grew as he realised he had just been given everything he ever wanted, only to have it taken away in the same breath. He crushed his lips against Elena's, trying to kiss her.  
"Damon, no…" Elena tried to pull away, but he moved his hands from her cheeks to her wrists, stopping her from fleeing. Stopping her from leaving him. "Damon…Damon…stop!" She turned her head away from his lips, which was about all she could do with him holding on to her. His lips found her neck instead.  
"I love you…I love you so much it hurts…" He muttered as he tried to go for her lips again. His words came out slurred and hissed, his fangs having detracted again out of the sheer combination of frustration, excitement and hunger. His emotions were boiling over in to an all-consuming need for Elena to finally be his; not Stefan's.

"Stop!" Elena wrenched her wrists free as she felt his grip loosening and she slammed her fists against his chest until he backed away from her. He blinked, his eyes coming back in to focus as he realised what he had been close to doing. "That's not love Damon! You're...you're incapable of love!" She turned on her heels as she heard the front door open and as she raced in to the hall she slammed in to Stefan.  
"Whoa, what's going on? Have you been crying?" His eyes narrowed on her tearstained cheeks and then snapped up to Damon as he stumbled in to the hallway, clutching another bottle of bourbon.  
"Stefan, can you take me home, please?"  
"Elena wait!" Damon called out to her but didn't dare take another step towards her. He wasn't afraid of Stefan. He could take his little brother any day; but he'd frightened Elena enough for one lifetime, so he kept a respectable distance. The human girl ignored him as she carried on towards the door, refusing to look back. Damon had finally succeeded in pushing her away for good. "Elena!"

"Elena?"Elena was pulled from her thoughts as Damon appeared at her open bedroom door. She'd brought him back to her house after getting him from the Grill, had given him a pair of Ric's pyjama bottoms and put him on the couch with a blanket over an hour ago. She'd gone to bed, though she hadn't been able to sleep. "What is it?" She put her diary aside, she'd been reading through her entries since the Salvatore brothers had entered her life. It hadn't exactly been happy reading.  
"I…can I…" He stumbled over her words, unable to ask for what he had come upstairs for.  
"Just tonight." Elena sighed as she pulled back the covers. He padded over to her and climbed in to bed beside her. Elena put her diary away in her nightstand and switched off her lamp, plunging the room in to darkness. She lay down on her back, staring up at the ceiling as she listened to Damon making himself comfortable. She closed her eyes, trying to switch off and go to sleep. "Elena?"  
"Yes, Damon?" She sighed again as she opened her eyes and found him lying on his side watching her.  
"My mind might not remember the first time I saw you, or the first word we shared, but my heart does." He took her hand and placed it on to his bare chest over his heart. "I don't need to remember my past. I don't _want _to. I don't want to be the kind of man who could hurt you."  
"It doesn't work like that Damon. You have to remember."  
"Why?"  
"Because." Elena rolled on to her side to face him and she once again took his hand in hers. "This isn't who you are Damon. This side of you, the side that's almost human, you're still inside of him, I know you are…but you're just…you're not _my _Damon." She had been mad at him when he'd forced his lips on to hers in the boarding house, it had been one stolen kiss too many and she'd been sick of both brothers thinking she was theirs to claim. She'd hated Damon that night. He'd grown so much over the summer, had shown her such a different side of him that Elena had almost forgotten about all the bad stuff that came with him before; but then he'd got drunk and lashed out, the same old Damon and the same old tricks, and she'd been too damn tired to keep fighting for him. When he disappeared she'd been relieved, she'd also been hurt because he'd once again broken another promise to her, but she'd at least been given some space to try and sort her head out; not to mention her heart.

Of course Damon couldn't have just left to do the right thing, to give Elena a chance at a normal life. He had to have gotten himself in to some kind of trouble, whether he had asked for it or not. When Elena had spotted him in the road that night, just lying there helplessly, her heart had ached. As mad as she was at him she had missed him. She still missed him, because the Damon who had come back to her wasn't _right._There was more missing from him than just his memories. Half of his personality was missing. That spark, the thing inside of him that irritated her and drew her to him simultaneously, was gone and the man left behind was a stranger to her.

"And are you mine, Elena?" Damon finally asked the million dollar question and she wasn't sure how to answer him. When he got his memories back he would remember that she had chosen him, but he would also remember what had come next and she wasn't sure how they were both supposed to move on from that. It was easier to forgive Damon when he was oblivious to how he had hurt her, but things would grow awkward fast when he did remember.  
"I care about you Damon, but it's complicated. Can we just…can we leave that conversation until you remember me properly?" She sighed as she shifted, her head going to rest on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her with a small confident smile. Patience had never been his strong suit. He would woo Elena to him. He would court her and win her heart from his brother. He would not allow himself to lose her to Stefan. History would not repeat itself.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** **Sorry for the delay in updating, I've had a load of writing to catch up on as well as the last few episodes of the current season of TVD. This probably isn't going to be a massively long fic as I'm working on another Delena one that should be quite lengthy, but there should be another half a dozen chapters or so.  
**

"Do you _really_ have to go to school today?" Damon asked for the second time that morning as Elena popped two slice of bread in to the toaster and leafed through the mail. He had been living in her house for nigh on a week and they still hadn't heard anything from Stefan. He had slipped in to life in the Gilbert house pretty well, though he took every chance he could get to spend time with Elena; often getting under her feet when she was trying to study or clean the house.  
"Yes, Damon. I do. It's kind of hard to ditch when you live with your teacher."  
"Would that be the one who woke up from his drunken stupor just long enough to ring the school this morning to say he was too sick to go in? Right before passing out."  
"Yes that would be the one... Someone in this house needs to set a good example." She frowned as she set the bills aside for Alaric to sort. He'd spoken to the bank about setting up an account for the bills using the inheritance Jenna had left them so that Elena didn't have to worry about them; or at least that was what he'd told her. She had no idea that it was Damon's bank account that paid the bills.  
"A good example for Jeremy? Who snuck out of here at the crack of dawn, and wasn't heading towards the school?" Damon's smirk widened as the teenager cursed under her breath.  
"How come you know more about what's going on in this house than I do?"  
"Knowledge is power Elena, and I'm severely lacking at the moment." He shrugged at her. "I just about remember the world is round…is that a smile?"

Elena rolled her eyes at him as she let out a small chuckle. "Is anyone in this house actually going to school today?" She tried to turn serious again, but it was hard to keep up the highly strung big sister act when she knew Jeremy was AWOL.  
"No, because _you_ are staying with me today." Damon grinned at her, knowing he was close to getting his own way.  
"Fine, what are we doing?" Elena gave in with a sigh. If everyone else was taking a day for themselves then she might as well do the 's face lit up as he got his way.  
"I'm going to court you." Elena barely held back a snort of laughter as he declared his intentions. She lost her smile as she realised he was being serious.  
"Court me? Damon, we've talked about this-"

He cut her off as he stepped forward and took hold of her hand, pressing his lips to the back of it with a devilish grin that set her pulse racing. "Yes, we have. You are not married, you are not betrothed and, most importantly, my brother has no claim on you. You are fair game Elena, and I intend to win your heart." Elena let out a nervous laugh; it was all she could do with Damon's gaze smouldering in to her and his hand still holding hers. She'd felt the wrath of his charms before, but he had mostly been teasing when he had said stuff like that to her before; except the night he'd kissed her on her porch. There had been no hint of teasing or playfulness when he had cupped her cheeks in his hands, stared her in the eye and brought his lips down to hers. He'd kissed her and she'd let him. It was easy to push him away when he was being a jackass. It was easy to deny any feelings for him whatsoever when he was being cruel or inconsiderate; but on the rare occasion that he let his humanity slip through…

"Win my heart? Damon, this isn't the 1800s." She tried to make a joke, to bring out his lighter side, but she could read the determination on his face. "Things are complicated. Not being able to remember that doesn't suddenly mean they're not-" He cut her off with a kiss. It was nothing like when he had kissed her on the porch. There was no forcefulness to it, his lips barely grazed hers, yet somehow Elena felt twice as guilty from it; though that probably had something to do with the fact that her lips had started to move against his just as he'd pulled away. His lips stretched in to a satisfied smile, as though he'd just proven a point.  
"Elena, the only thing I need to remember is the sweet taste of your lips upon my own. Against that, nothing else in this world matters." He caressed her cheek and her eyes closed over of their own accord. She felt the second ghost of a kiss upon her lips just as her cell phone started ringing.

She jerked away, startled back to reality by the shrill sound of her phone. "H-hello?" She felt shaky as she pressed the phone to her ear and stepped out in to the kitchen, needing to put some distance between her and Damon.  
"Hey, Bonnie just called and said she's going to be off sick today. Do you want a ride to school or are you driving?" Caroline's chirpy voice was like nails on a chalkboard as Elena tried to regain her composure.  
"Uh, no…actually, Care, I'm not feeling too good myself today. I think I'm going to have a day in bed…" She regretted her choice of words as she felt Damon pressed up behind her. Her breath hitched as his lips found her neck and her knuckles turned white from gripping the phone in her hand so hard.  
"Really? There must be something going around. I'll takes not for you and drop off any assignments later-"  
"Ok, great. Thanks Care." Elena hung up before Caroline could pick up on her unease. She turned to face Damon, intending to berate him, but instead she found herself leaning in to his kiss as his hands cupped her cheeks and pulled her against him.

She had tried to fight it; whatever it was that had been brewing between them over the summer, but it was impossible when the man in front of her had all of Damon's charm and wit, without the handicap of his insecurities. Losing Katherine, and subsequently finding out about her betrayal, had left him bitter and broken; without his memories he was much more honest and open with Elena. There was no attempt to cover up his lust with camaraderie; no hiding his very human feelings behind being a big bad vampire. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and Elena couldn't deny her own feelings; no matter how mixed they were.

Damon grinned at her as he pulled away, still cupping her cheek. "Well, it seems the courting is going to plan." He laughed as Elena frowned and pulled away from him, though she was biting back a small smile of her own as she pulled on her jacket. He was slowly starting to sound like his arrogant cocksure self; Elena found it surprisingly reassuring. Without the vampire's hands, and lips, on her it was easier to think and she once again had her doubts about skipping school and spending the day with Damon.  
"Don't get ahead of yourself _Romeo. _So what have you got planned for today then?"  
"You'll find out soon enough." There was a twinkle in his eye as he scooped up her car keys from the kitchen counter. "I'll drive."  
"Oh no you won't!" Elena made a grab for the keys, but he held them up high above his head. "Damon! I'm serious! You don't even remember how to drive!"  
"I'm a quick learner!" He insisted as he headed out the back door and Elena had no choice but to follow him. By the time she caught up to him he had managed to unlock the car and he stood by the open passenger door, ushering her inside.

The resourceful teenager slipped inside and then slid over in to the driver's seat. Damon had put the key in the ignition ready so she turned it and the engine started purring. Damon huffed as he got in to the passenger seat, clearly sulking as he pulled the door with more force than was needed. "I'll let you drive later, ok? Somewhere quiet and out of the way." He seemed pacified by her offer and was out of his huff by the time they reached the end of their road. Elena flashed the indicator to turn left to head in to town and made sure to talk Damon through what she was doing. She'd given Jeremy a few driving lessons the summer before, but her brother had at least had the advantage of understanding how a car worked. She drove to the outskirts of the town, just past Wickery Bridge and pulled over to let Damon get behind the wheel. His eyes lit up as his hands gripped the steering wheel and his foot immediately went to the gas pedal. The car lurched forward and then stopped as he removed his foot. He pressed the pedal down again and managed to go a little further before the car stalled again. Elena leant over him and turned the engine over to start the car up again.

"Easy, just put your foot down on the accelerator and keep it steady." She coached, still leaning in close to keep an eye on him. He kept his foot steady and the SUV gradually built up speed. "Whoa, slow down on the corners!" Elena chastised as the car went flying around the bend and one of the back wheels left the road. The engine groaned as he cruised down the straight in the wrong gear and Elena shifted up in to the right one for him. She kept her hand on the gearstick and Damon covered it with one of his own. He was beaming as he drove along the relatively empty roads, his fingers stroking the back of Elena's hand. His human companion carried on coaching him, but after a while he was driving as competently as he ever had. He really was a quick learner.

Without warning he slammed his foot on the brake and they both shot forward in their seats. "Damon, you're supposed to ease your foot on to the break, not kick it!"  
"Sorry." He shrugged as he fumbled with his seatbelt, he was still stumped by the button to release it and Elena had to help him to stop him ripping it off. "Patience isn't one of my virtues." He winked as he climbed out of the car and made his way to the rear of the car. Elena followed him, curious as to why he'd stopped at the side of the road, slap bang in the middle of nowhere. Just as she opened her mouth to ask what he was doing he pulled a picnic hamper out of the trunk.  
"A picnic? Here? You're kidding right?" Elena couldn't help but laugh at the sight in front of her; Damon with his wide-eyed schoolboy grin, holding a picnic basket in one hand and offering the other out for her to take.

He'd stopped not far from Wickery Bridge, where Elena had found him lying in the road the previous weekend. It seemed like a lifetime ago as he led her down towards the water and pulled a small picnic blanket out of the basket. Elena had skipped breakfast and her stomach was growling as she took in the spread that Damon had laid out for them. There were fresh bread rolls, cheeses, meats, cakes and fresh fruit. "It looks lovely." Elena wasn't sure what else to say as Damon uncorked a bottle of wine and poured out two glasses. "Oh, no, I shouldn't-"  
"You shouldn't be skipping school either, or be out in the woods with a vampire." He grinned as he pressed the glass in to her hand. "Live a little Elena." She rolled her eyes at him but relented and took a sip. Damon seemed pleased as he took a drink from his own glass. They ate in silence for a while, occasionally making small talk, until Damon cleared his throat. He'd been fiddling with something in his pocket and he pulled out to present to her. She almost choked on a grape as she stared at the little velvet box in the palm of his hand.

"Elena, I care deeply for you. Even without my memories, I know that as clearly as I know my own name...I want to do right by you. I want to provide for you…and for Jeremy. Elena Gilbert-"  
"Stop!" Elena shook her head, her eyes glued to the ring box as Damon popped it open to reveal an antique ring. "Damon-"  
"This was my mother's." He smiled as he picked the ring out and set the box down on the rug. "And you would be doing me a great honour if you would wear it…as my wife." Elena was speechless. She knew the oldest Salvatore was as stubborn as a mule, she expected him to try and win her over with some sort of gesture; but she'd thought that was what the picnic was for. She'd never imagined he would _propose._He took her silence for what it was and hastily tried to talk her in to it "I know this seems old fashioned. I know this world is not the one I remember, but you are a young woman Elena and you need protection and stability…and love. I can give you all of these things and more!"

She couldn't look him in the eye as she shook her head, barely able to find her voice. She was crushing him for the second time in as many weeks, but she couldn't give him false hope. Regardless of whatever he promised her, he would get his memory back and they would be in the same sorry mess they had always been. She had accused him of being incapable of love, and even as the words had left her mouth she had known they had been a step too far. Damon's problem wasn't that he couldn't love; he simply loved too much, too intensely; Elena, Stefan, Katherine, Bree…he had loved them all in different ways and at one point or another they had all thrown it back in his face; the Damon she knew, the person she had slowly fallen for, was not the man kneeling in front of her on one knee.

_Her _Damon didn't always do the right thing, he didn't always think things through clearly, or put others before himself; but he had held her while she cried her heart out over his brother. He had brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek as he whispered how amazing she was in to her ear, slowly coaxing her back in to the world with pointless trips to the zoo, surprise birthday parties and carefully orchestrated girls nights with her best friends. He had never admitted it to her, but she had known he had been the one to rally her friends around her, to keep her going when Stefan had broken her heart. That was the Damon she had fallen in love with; though she had tried to deny it for so long, even to herself. He would never take her on a picnic, or propose to her with his mother's ring, but he would always be there for her to keep her going; or so she'd thought. That Damon was gone now and she wished more than anything in the world that he would come back to her. She didn't have the words to be able to explain properly, so Damon took her silence as flat our rejection and she watched in horror as his expression shut down, his jaw tightening as he shoved the ring back in to his pocket. "I see. I should not have put you in that predicament Miss Gilbert. I apologise." He stood up and started packing away as Elena just sat there staring at him; totally numb.  
"Damon, I-"  
"No, Elena." He turned away from her, his tone short and sharp. "There is no need to say anything; your silence spoke volumes."

The drive back to town was made in unbearable silence and Elena almost tired to explain to him why she couldn't accept his proposal at least a half dozen times, but every time she opened her mouth she just couldn't get the words out. What could she say to him? She couldn't be with him because she was in love with his alter ego and she wanted him back? A man who looked and sounded exactly like him, but was his polar opposite? A man who was selfish and arrogant and possibly the worst person she could ever fall for, yet at the same time he could make her chest ache and her heart flutter with a single look. How could she explain all of that to him without admitting her biggest secret? The one that had been eating away at her all summer. She had been falling in love with Damon Salvatore for a long time.

Even if she had have been able to get the words out, the brooding vampire was in no mood to listen to her. He kept his gaze fixed out of the window the entire drive home, refusing to even look at her. When they pulled up outside of the Gilbert house he muttered something about collecting his things and going back to the Boarding house. Elena was sulking herself as she followed him inside, wondering how such a perfect morning could have turned in to the day from hell. She stopped in her tracks as she caught sight of Stefan standing on her porch, his expression grim and his gaze burning a hole straight through her; it seemed her day was about to get a whole lot worse. "Stefan? When did you get back?"

"This morning. I went to the school, but Caroline said you were sick. So I came here looking for you." He grunted, his eyes never leaving Damon. "May I come in?" He already had an invitation to come inside, left over from another life when Elena had actually been happy to hear a knock on the front door and find him standing on the other side; but that seemed like a million years ago as she nodded stiffly and opened the front door. She stepped inside and Stefan followed her in, closely trailed by a still silent Damon. She closed the door behind then and the room suddenly seemed ten times smaller with her trapped between the two brothers.  
"Did you find Bree?" Elena asked, her voice sounding choked and forced. She had a terrible feeling that she wasn't going to like his answer.

"I did, but she won't be much help." Stefan's dark eyes narrowed on his brother's icy blue orbs, looking for any sign of deceit in them as Damon waited as anxiously as Elena. He still wasn't sure whether Damon was playing some sort of elaborate game, if he knew anything about his brother it was the he was patient enough to pull off a stunt like faking amnesia; especially if it got him Elena.  
"Why?" Elena heard the tremor in her own voice as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself, fighting off the cold dread that had settled over her.  
"Because Damon ripped her heart out of her chest." Stefan did nothing to cushion the blow, though he got no pleasure from watching the colour drain from Elena's cheeks. His voice softened slightly as he turned to face her, ignoring his brother as he slumped back against the back of the couch. Elena felt her own knees buckling, as though the rug was being pulled out from under her feet. "I'm sorry Elena. He killed her the night you were at the bar."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So it's been like 4 months since I last updated this. I kind of went off Vampire Diaries a bit and I need to catch up with most of season four, but I'm trying to get a few fics finished this month, this one included. Hopefully I should be updating regularly again.  
**

"I thought she was my friend?" Damon choked out, his complexion much paler than usual and his eyes wide with horror. "Why would I murder a friend?"  
"She betrayed you." Elena answered, though she wasn't just making excuses for what had happened to the witch. Lexy had been Bree's friend too, and though the woman had been grieving, her actions had almost gotten them _both_ killed.  
"What kind of _monster _would rip out a woman's still beating heart?" Damon shook his head in disbelief as he pushed himself to his feet. His eyes narrowed on Stefan as the youngest Salvatore tensed, as though readying for a fight. He soon forgot about him as his wild eyes settled on Elena. "And this is the kind of man you want me to be? A cold hearted killer who turns on his own friends?"  
"Damon-" Elena took a step forward, but stopped as he shook his head and threw his hands in the air.  
"No! I won't do it, Elena! I won't be that man again! I won't! I don't want my memories back! I don't want to remember-"

"Not remembering won't change what you've done, Damon." Stefan chided, though he was in no position to judge. How many times had he torn apart a woman, only to block it out later in a haze of guilt? Damon was a monster; but at least he had always been an honest one.  
"Stefan, maybe you should go?" Elena suggested, trying to diffuse the tension in the room as the brothers glared at each other and Damon laid a possessive hand on the teenage girl's shoulder.  
"If that's what you want."  
"It is." She showed the youngest brother to the door and returned to find Damon slumped forward on the couch, his head in his hands. "Damon-" She reached out to touch his shoulder but her stiffened at the contact.

"I don't want to become the man I was. I would rather spend an eternity in ignorance!" He huffed as Elena tentatively took a seat beside him.  
"You can't do that Damon. It's not safe for you." She placed her hand over his and he let her lace their fingers together. "The Damon I know, the man you are, he can do some pretty bad things and he can be a selfish ass; but most of the time he does the things he does for a reason, and mostly that reason is to protect Stefan…or me."  
"I would do anything for you Elena." The expression on his face and the love in his eyes was so sincere that Elena felt her heart breaking. She wished she could just let him live on without his memory, without the knowledge of all the terrible things he'd done; but he had done good things too and, as selfish as it was, she wanted the Damon she knew back.  
"Then help us figure out what happened to you? Please Damon, I have lost so many people in my life…I can't lose you too."

* * *

"So what have we got?" Stefan quizzed as he paced up and down the living room floor of the Boarding House. Jeremy and Bonnie were sitting on one couch while Caroline sat on the other.  
"A big fat nothing." Jeremy admitted as he tossed aside the book he was reading. Bonnie frowned at him and picked the ancient text up from the floor to place it on the coffee table.  
"What Jeremy means is that we can't figure out what spell was used and even if we could narrow it down we'd probably need the help of the witch who cast it to reverse it." Jeremy and Bonnie had practically been inseparable all the time that Stefan had been gone, pouring over every book on spells and witchcraft they could find, looking for some sort of cure for Damon's memory loss.  
"And without Bree we have no leads." Stefan huffed. His brother had spent a lot of time researching ways to get Katherine out of the crypt and he had probably crossed paths with a dozen witches. Tracking them down would take time.

"Maybe Klaus could help?" Caroline suggested and was met with three blank stares. "I mean, he's been around for years. He's got to know a lot of powerful witches, right?"  
"Caroline's right." Stefan agreed, a plan quickly formulating in his mind. "Klaus may be able to help, we just need the right leverage."  
"What's leverage?" The blonde frowned, missing the charming smile that Stefan had turned her way.  
"You are."  
"Wait, what? Why do I have to do it?" Caroline objected. She'd had enough of the other vampire when she'd driven him from the Grill the other night. Tyler was still chewing her ear off about it after Matt had put his foot in it and told him that Caroline had taken Klaus home.  
"Do we really have to have this conversation again?" Stefan snapped, his patience running short. "Klaus drops his guard around you. You're our best chance of getting him to talk. If he can't help us then I only have one other option… and I don't want to have to take it."

"What's that?" Caroline quizzed, wondering whether she could talk Stefan in to taking the other option.  
"Katherine." He deadpanned, his expression clearly stating that the older vampire really would be his last resort.  
"Looks like I'm going to see Klaus then." The blonde huffed. She wasn't happy about it, but she had agreed to try and help; even if it was for Elena's sake and not Damon's.  
"Thank you." Stefan nodded at her as she got to her feet. Bonnie and Jeremy followed suit. They left the youngest Salvatore in the boarding house and headed out to their cars. Bonnie had driven Jeremy over so he climbed in to her car as she talked to Caroline.

"Are you sure you're ok with going to see Klaus? You don't owe Damon anything; or Stefan for that matter."  
"Yeah, but what about Elena?" Caroline sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, Damon protects her. I don't always agree with how he goes about doing it, but he keeps her safe. He can't do that if he's Klaus' amnesiac drinking buddy. I'm going to drive over there now. Just please don't mention this to Tyler!" With Bonnie sworn to secrecy, the two friends shared a brief hug before Caroline got in to her own car and headed towards Klaus' mansion.

As she killed the engine outside of his house she suddenly felt a lot less confident in her actions. It was one thing to approach the original vampire at the Grill, but to go to his house in the middle of the night was just asking for trouble. "This is for Elena." She mumbled as she pocketed her keys and climbed out of the car. Her boots crunched on the dry leaves littering his path, every step sounding like a bomb going off to her sensitive ears. It wasn't like she had the element of surprise to start with though; the older vampire would have picked up the familiar hum of her engine long before she pulled up on his driveway. Forcing a confidence she didn't really own, she lifted the heavy brass door knocker a couple of times and waited for him to answer.

He took his sweet time, drawing out Caroline's anxiety until she was just about ready to turn on her heels and make a speedy getaway in her car. When he finally came to the door he looked like she'd just roused his from sleep. His short blonde hair was tussled and sticking up, while the shirt he wore hung open, revealing the pale flesh and hard abs of his chest. "Caroline." His voice was like warm honey, but the blonde wasn't buying his act.  
"You have to help us with Damon!" She demanded. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to feel as brave as she was pretending to be.

An amused smile played on the older vampire's lips as his eyes narrowed on her like a lion sizing up its pray. "Is that right? And why, pray tell, would that be?"  
"Because-" Caroline faltered for a reason. Klaus and Damon weren't friends. More often than not they were trying to kill each other, and there was no point in appealing to his human decency. She had to play the only card she had in her hand, even if it pained her to do so. "Because I'm asking you to. I'll beg, ok? I'll get down on my knees if that's what it takes! Just help Damon! Please! For Elena…and for me." She waited with baited breath for his reaction.

He cocked his head to the side with a predatory smile as his eyes raked over hungrily. "Oh Caroline, as much as I'd quite enjoy the experience of you down on your knees begging me…well let's just say that when that times comes, it will have _nothing _to do with Damon Salvatore." She shuddered and took a step back as he leant in close to her. "But seeing as you asked so nicely…I _may _have some information that _might _help Damon."  
"And what's it going to cost me?"  
"So cynical Caroline." He chuckled as he scolded her. "No cost. No catch. Let's simply call it a peace offering between friends?" She couldn't help but feel like he had some sort of ulterior motive. It was _Klaus _after all; everything came with a catch with him. He didn't simply do things out of the kindness of his heart.  
"We're not friends, Klaus."  
"Not yet." His shot back, attempting to flirt with her as he closed the distance between them. Caroline's breath caught in her throat as she suddenly found him invading her personal space. "But we could be so much more…" He brought a hand up to caress her cheek, but she stiffened and pulled away from him.

"Can you help Damon, or not?" The fire returned to her voice as she stood up to him. He found it equally amusing and infuriating at the same time. He was not used to working so hard to get his own way, and the more Caroline refused him the more he craved her. Helping her with the Salvatore brother would be an act of good faith, nothing more. The other vampire and Caroline's little friends meant nothing to him. He crossed his arms over his broad chest as he leant back against the door frame.  
"The witch. The one who cast the spell on Damon, I sent him to her. The night in the bar, when he tried to get me to end his miserable life, he said he wanted to fix things and he needed a witch to do it."  
"Why did you help him?" Caroline interrogated him. Klaus didn't do anything without it benefiting him in some way. He shrugged at her, enjoying drawing out the silence before answering, keeping her close for as long as he could.  
"He was rather drunk and a tad emotional. I thought it could be rather _fun_. I don't know what he asked her to do, but I can have her brought to town. You can ask her yourself."

"Thank you." Caroline nodded at him, surprised by how easy it had been to get him to help. She was given a sharp reminder of his motives as he leered at her.  
"Any time, lover." She narrowed her eyes at him, but didn't say anything. She didn't want to risk him losing his accommodating mood. "I should have the old crone in town by nightfall tomorrow. Though from what I've seen I'm not quite sure how receptive of our help Damon may be."  
"He doesn't get a say in this."  
"Of course not, it's only his life." Klaus quipped. Caroline was pretty sure he was just trying to goad her to keep her talking for longer, but she bit anyway.  
"Would you do it? If you could forget about all the bad stuff that you've done, would you?"

It was a very personal question and Klaus took a moment to mull it over. "It's tempting, the chance of starting over with a clean slate, a clear conscience…but no. To forget the bad would also to be to forget the good. Good and evil are not independent of each other Caroline; a man is not whole without both."

* * *

"Caroline just called; Klaus is going to help us." Elena perched on the armrest of the chair that Damon was slumped in. He was cradling a tumbler full of whisky, wearing a faraway expression. He nodded, acknowledging that he'd heard her, but not commenting on what she she'd said. He was still brooding over discovering he had murdered one of his own so-called friends. "This is for the best, Damon. I promise." She ran her fingers lightly through his hair and he leant in to her touch.

He turned to catch Elena's wrist and pressed his lips against the palm of her hand. "Don't make me do this. Please, Elena. Don't make me remember that I'm a monster."  
"You're not!" Elena implored, letting him pull her down on to his lap. She sighed as he kissed her cheek, moving closer to her lips. "Believe me, you're not. You told me once that I should have met you in 1864, because I would have liked you…do you know what I said to you Damon?"  
"No." He sulked, unable to look her in the eye. Elena herself was struggling to think about the night she had almost lost Damon to the werewolf's bite.  
"I said I liked you just the way you were, and it was the truth. You can be a real dick sometimes Damon, you're selfish and impulsive and you've done bad things…but you do good things too, even if you try to hide them from me. I liked you the way you were, because you weren't _just_ a vampire. That human part of you, the part you don't want to give up…it's always with you."


End file.
